Me and Gretchen fights like dogs and cats

This morning, right after a breakfast of crunchy deliciousness, a terrible thing has occurred. Being that Gretchen and I is wiener dogs, we loves our foods more than almost any other thing. In my opinion, Mama no gives us enough! I has to be working on my insulation for the winter. Being that Gretchen and I was irritated by not having more foods (Mama says something about "portion control," whatever that is), we had a enormous tussle and Gretchen SAT ON ME using her giant freakish legs.

Well, I no is a kind of dog who takes this, so I puts all my strength into biting her with my fearsome tooth. Unfortunately for me, Gretchen's body is more solid than I expected, and my tooth decay is a little more advanced than I had a knowledge of. So when Mama came over and pulled her off of me, she saw that I has a bloody mouth and a very loose tooth. 

Thankfully it was NOT my snaggletooth, which has almost as much magnificence as my tongue. Before the tussle I had four teeth in the fronts. Now, when I go back to the vet on Monday, I will has only three fronts. And I no is happy about that.

I still has both of these teeth, thanks goodness.

So after the mighty tussle Mama and Leah took me to the doctor. Also, despite what you may has heard, I was shaking because it was VERY CHILLY in the office. I no was frightened at all. But I sees how you might think that, given the amount of shaking I was doing. If I had my sweater on, I no would shake at all. Really. In fact, I was so brave that I tooks my shot with no having any problems. The doctor gave Mama some medicine for me (blech), and paid on the way out, and said "you is a very expensive dog, Reuben." Though I no knows what that means.

I made extra sure to pee really good on the fence in front of the offices. It's my fence it's my fence it's MINE! I peed on it a couple times before Mama picked me up and put me in the car. I CAN get into the car all by myselfs, I just no feels like doing it. Ever. If I ever feels like doing it, I will lets you all know.

I has to go back to the doctor on Monday, as I said befores. After all that I STILL has my loose and bloody tooth, mostly because I no lets anyone look in my mouth. EVER. They will has to give me anesthesias. That is the only way I will lets people look in my mouth, because I no can help it when I is asleep.

Now I is tired of typing, so I plans to go lie in the sun for a long whiles. I is feeling ok, but I no has a particular like for Gretchen at this time. The vet said "Reuben, don't go getting into fights with dogs bigger than you!" I no knows what she is talking about, since I is definitely the biggest dog in the neighborhood. Gretchen is lucky I hurted my tooth like that - if that no had happened, SHE would has to visit the vet instead of me. Mama says she has a headache now. But it is hard for me to care about that, since I has a toothache.