If you is following me on face books, then probably you knows the source of my grief from yesterday.
|file photo of all that is unholy.|
And some peoples was asking, "hey Reuben, you handsome an brave dachshund - why you has such a powerful dislike for Gretchen? She looks sweet enough."
Friends, if Gretchen was trying to steal your chewies, your place on the couch, your foodstuffs, your place in the bed, your humpy bed, your people family, and your entire house, I's thinking you might feel differently about her.
Mama and Daddy adopted Gretchen from Almost Home Dachshund Rescue, which is the same nice rescue group that helped pay for my mouth surgicals. Mama and Daddy thoughted I needed a friend to play with, on account of how I sleep so much - they thought I might be BORED. Little did they know that I was vigilantly sleeping to protect the house! Also people sister wanted Gretchen to be my girlfriend, which was a terrible mistake. To make a (freakishly) long story short, you can read all about why Gretchen went to live on the farm with Grandpa man *** here***. But we no gotted along almost all of the time, though occasional photos has been snapped of us sitting near to each other when I had a momentary letting down of my vigilant guard. Some has even gone so far to suggest that Gretchen is BIGGER than me, which is a outrageous lie. Just because she has longer legs than me (freakishly long, might I add), and maybe weighs more than me, and is slightly longer in the torso, it NO MEANS that she is bigger! Because as we all knows, I is basically the biggest dog who ever has existed.
We still sees each other fairly often. Sometimes I go out to the farm to
As you can see, this is basically the greatest affront to my personal Self, ever.
Moving on. So yesterday Gretchen came for a babysitting while Daddy and Grandpa man were working on some house-fixing stuffs. Here is a full account of our unfortunate day, in photos:
|blatant betrayal by people sister.|
|Unapologetic theft of my meaty stick.|
|Still chewing on MY meaty stick. In MY place on top of the couch.|
|Licking me on my sensitive mouth|
|Me, sulking and angrily chewing on a blankie and no looking at Gretchen the intruder.|
Also, Mama and people sister tooked us on a walk together (in MY park), except Mama forgotted to bring camera in all the craziness of getting out the door. I took an extra long time peeing on everything while Gretchen ranned ahead with people sister using her freakishly long legs.FINALLY Grandpa man camed to pick her up, and all was restored to the natural and correct order of things. Which is me, Reuben, being an Only Dog and doing it amazingly well.
Pee S. The 2013 North Carolina Wiener Roast is coming up very soon, and oh man, did I has a blast last year! I maybe no will enter the wiener race again this year, on account of how I ranned away from the finish line instead of towards it. But I DOES have a very exciting thing planned for the Roast, and you will has to wait just a little bit longer to find out what it is!