Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I is a published author now! Yes, my book is off the leash!

Greetings friends, today I is so very excited to announce the publications of my very first book, A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs!

And to give you an idea of all of the nuggets of wisdoms that is contained therein, here is a lovely video my publisher made for me with excerpts of my wise words!

Reuben, the floppy tongue dachshund from Peggy Haymes on Vimeo.

Now, I know you is probably having some questions. And to answer thems, I has forced bribed Hatfield with cheese to help me answer thems in a conversation.

Hatfield, the orange kitty, from Reuben's Floppy Tongue Joy blog.
Hatfield: So, Dog, if I wanted to buy a copy of this book so I could pee on it, where would I theoretically do that?

Reuben of Floppy Tongue Joy, author of "A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs"
Reuben: There will be a few places for this, luckily for you, Cat. You may do a purchasing of it directly from my publisher ***here.***  Also I will soon be having it for sale through Almost Home Dachshund Rescue website,  and also on Amazon. My minions is still very busy typing out all of the copies, so these venues will be taking just a little bit longer! If you happen to be attending the 2013 North Carolina Wiener Roast, then you is one lucky kind of creature, for I will be there with my mama and people sister (and maybe even Daddy) to pawtograph my book for you!

Hatfield, the orange kitty, from Reuben's Floppy Tongue Joy blog.Hatfield: If I wanted to obtain a copy of said book for my Kindle, to show to all my Cat friends and laugh at, can I do it?

Reuben of Floppy Tongue Joy, author of "A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs"

Reuben: That is in the works for later, because of course my minions will has to scan all the pages onto their internet-enabled typewriters first. Check back in a few months - but if any catses is laughing at it, please know that I reserve all rights to dead them.

Hatfield, the orange kitty, from Reuben's Floppy Tongue Joy blog.Hatfield: So what does a book of this questionable caliber go for these days? Like half a can of tuna maybe?

Reuben: No, Cat. it no does. I suggested eleventy million dollars to my publisher, but they no liked that idea, so now it costing the price of about half a can of organic dog food - $12.00! Is amazing deal to get so many of my wisdoms collected all into one place!

Hatfield: And what do you plan to do with all twelve of those dollars that you might make from the one copy that you might sell to your grandma?

Reuben of Floppy Tongue Joy, author of "A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs"

Reuben: If you must know, Cat, I will be donating 10% of profits to Almost Home Dachshund Rescue. The rest of thems will go to help buy our organic petfoodstuffs and probably also a jaunt to Paris on private jet with all of my Blogville friends. We will eat free-range filet mignon, chew up an entire boutique hotel room, and pee on the Louvre! But if we no gets enough monies to finance that trip, maybe we will just go to dog park.

Hatfield, the orange kitty, from Reuben's Floppy Tongue Joy blog.Can you get me a publishing contract too? I would like to release my four thousand page dissertation on feline archetypes in the Dostoevsky canon, it is sure to be a bestseller.

Reuben of Floppy Tongue Joy, author of "A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs"

No. Please get out of here before I dead you.

Moving on.... I plans to host a book giveaway right here on Floppy Tongue Joy, so keep on the lookouts for that! I is so very excited, and I no can waits to share my knowledges with all of my lovely friends!

Reuben of Floppy Tongue Joy, author of "A Guide to Braveries for Small Dogs"
Oh yeah, Reuben writed a BOOK!


  1. Hoorah!! CONGRATS Reuben! I've just purchased eleventy million copies. Enjoy your private jet to Paris!!

    Aunt Dana

  2. OMD Reuben we were just about to put a note to go and buy it on Amazon for Kindle till we read it is not available yet. You have to get it on so we can buy a copy. You have an international audience to consider. Get it on there soon pal and let us know when and we will be onto it. In the meantime good luck. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  3. You crack me up Reuben! Great interview and pawesome video. I am up for that trip to Paris anytime!

  4. Ruben, you crack us (excluding Maddox) into more pieces than that dumpty humpy egg who fell off the Great Wall of China! Congratulations on your book! We are looking forward to reading it!

    Elizabeth and everyone else (except for Maddox, friend of Hatfield)

  5. I so love you Reuben! Hurry and get your book on the Kindle so I can read it to my pup, Buddy! He loves you too!

  6. AUTHOR AUTHOR !!!!! AUTHOR !!!! BRAVO Reuben!! WAY to GO buddy!!

    Your Review and Video were OUTSTANDING... We Laughed and we Cried and we just LOVED it. AUTHOR AUTHOR AUTHOR !!!

  7. Awesome! And congratulations
    Benny & Lily

  8. I WANTS A REUBEN BOOK!!!!!!!! OMD, I CAN NOT believes you wroted a book all my yourself and nows you is gonna be rich and famous! Feels free to tells everybuddy you knew me when you was just a poor little thing.

    I can't wait to reads your book and I is gonna gets myself a nitelight so I can reads it in bed. I is SO excitimated furs you and to reads it.


  9. wowee! congratulations, reuben!


  10. We feel so honoured to know a published author. And just for the record, no way would we buy a CAT book. So Hatfield can just go take a jump....

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  11. Reuben this is just about the most exciting news ever heard on this day...A book of your wisdoms (and i don't mean your teefs BOL!) is gonna be os useful to dawgs everywhere...Momz is waitin' fur the Kindle copy so I sure hope you getz it out soon...Iz got my beret packed fur Paris!

  12. Congratulations! That's wonderful news! I'm so proud of you, Reuben! I want one! I was going to have my momma order one, but since we will be at the Wiener Roast, we'll buy one from you there (we would LOVE a pawtographed copy)! Can't wait to meet you! and can't wait to read your book!


  13. So excited for you. It is great that you could do this. Lee and Phod

  14. Weee, how exciting! Congratulations! I will look for it on kindle when it comes out there. :)


  15. Reuben, I am so excited for you!!!! You are an author, I know you will be famous and be on The View and Dr. Oz and David Letterman. I can't wait, I hope I can get your pawtograph. I will for sure have to get a copy cause it is about my pal Reuben. I am so proud to be your pal

    Loveys Sasha

  16. Skippy is very excited. I will wait patiently for the giveaway!

  17. Congratulations Reuben! A published author! Fantastic! You should have a world tour or something buddy. Can't wait to get a copy of your book and show it off to my buddy Thor next door. He's a german shepherd. So proud of you Reuben!

    Ranger (Mom is my secretary)

  18. Reuben, you the man! We are soooo dang proud of you. Fur some reason, Mommy has tears in her eyes. Yup, movies make her do that.

    We're gonna save up some of our bones and sell them off so we can buy many copies of your new book. Then when we give them as gifts we're gonna boast proudly that we're furends with you. They are gonna be impressed!

    Can't wait to read the entire book Reuben.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  19. That is so brilliant congrats! We will look out for your book giveaway.
    Love that last photo - how long IS that tongue, BOL!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  20. How exciting! We can't wait to get a copy!


  21. Congrats that is too cool u r famous. We would luv to find u on Instagram
    By the way r name is urban hounds1

  22. Wow! A real live book about YOU! You're brilliant, Reuben! Congratulations! When you have to sign books, will your mom stick your paw onto an ink pad? I hope so. It's fun!

    Love and licks,

  23. Grr. I no can get the publisher's site to work! Hatfield is probably to blame. Be sure to let us know when it is available on other sites.


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