Friday, February 1, 2013

More funs with spammers

The spams just keeps coming here at Floppy Tongue Joy, and I for one no could be happier. Those of yous who has word verifications turned on, and you knows who you is, is really missing out. In casing you missed my last post about my favorite spammers, I will lets you know that I receives spams that Blogger is very good at catching before the comments is published. Still I gets e-mail when I has new comment, and so these lovely nuggets of wisdom comes straight to my inbox! Is I a lucky dog or what?

Almost as lucky as when Daddy gaved me this steak bone!

What I likes to does is gather all of my spammers together in a room to has a Q&A session with the author, which is me, Reuben. Clearly they is big fans of Floppy Tongue Joy - for example, this guy named "Anonymous" leaves tons of commentaries! What a dedicated reader. So here is the transcript of my 2nd edition of Reuben's Q&As with Spammers:

"A tastier and richer dark chocolate will eventually destroy the foundations of what sustains a committed relationship.  Most of these scenarios dont mean for sure that the relationship bottoms of his shoes, which is highly offensive in the region." - Spam Yankee

Mr. Yankee - and I knows you is a mister and not a misses, based on your lack of knowledge about women, chocolate and relationships  - your commentary is highly offensive to my region. My mama is expert on dark chocolate, and let me tells you that when Daddy does something wrong, bringing her dark chocolate is a very good way to sustain the committed relationship. I will agree with you on one point though - the bottoms of Daddy's shoes is offensive. Next question, please.

"What's up every one, here every person is sharing such experience, so it's fastidіouѕ to rеaԁ thіs weblog, аnd I useԁ tо vіsit thіs blog everуԁay. Also visit my web-site colon cleanse boise id." - Spam-Wow Guy

OK, that no is really a question, but I rolls with it. In fact, I has question for you: what is a We Blog? Maybe it is some kind of crowdsourcing resource for colon cleanser salesmans from Boise? I suggest you share your colon-related experiences on that kind of website instead of here. Who is the next questioner..... yes, you there in the back?

"This is not something that you want to take lightly. Making fun of yourself may be ether good or bad based on the way you do it. Do not sign onto your dating profiles from public computers, and keep your computer's security software updated."  - Spamerella

These is very good advices, Spamerella, thank you for sharing thems. Two things I certainly never makes light of is a) internet safety and 2) making fun of peoples. I would never make fun of peoples. Catses on the other paw is different story. Next question?

"Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author. I will always bookmark your blog and may come back at some point." - The Spamburgler 

My my, you always bookmarks my dogblog, and even you might come BACK to visit me someday? If only I could be so lucky! Next question, yes, you there, man with crazy eyes.

"Taking your date to your partner? And you ARE To improve the match and cheer for your children to naturally adapt to the old food. . Anywhere you are going on. All the while they remember you and we still don't know yourself then you can send messages and you will have a huge amount of confidence which people over the last.. Turn your mundane online Dating a neighbor and not to marry a non-believer? Connection between you to ensure singles make out in Ventura, Cali." Sir Spam-a-Lot

I thinks you no has been reading my dogblog very often, for if you was, you would know this is PG-rated site! Maybe you only is getting keyword match for my posts about my humpy beds - Red, Blue, and New. What I feels for my humpy beds - all of thems - is real and true lovings. Except for when I is attacking thems. Other than that, it is a deep and heartfelt kind of love. Never does I simply "make out" with humpy beds. I is in it to win it, sir.  Looks like we has time for one more questioning.... yes, you there, front and center."

"Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any assistance is very much appreciated. payday loans no credit check online pay day loans online payday loans instant cash loans online payday loans online the payday no credit check payday loans Feel free to visit my web-site guaranteed payday loans."  - I Spam a Cinematographer 

Well, you has certainly said a mouthful there, Mr. Spamatological. The name of the plug-in I uses is.... oh wait, I no has one. The reason for this is so I makes sure to never miss a commentary from an insightful and apparently endlessly wealthy lender such as yourself. Mama is expecting 1 million dollar paycheck very soon; I will be contacting you privately on the details of you advancing us those monies immediately. 

Thank yous very much for this enlightening experience, spammers, and please, keep the commentaries coming! 

For non-spammers, today is the last day to enter Reuben's Frosty Paws giveaway. I no can takes any entries after midnight, Eastern time, February 1, 2013. I no can waits to do an announcing of the winners tomorrow! 


  1. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...OMD, I just peed all overs myself...OMD, oh me, hang on I has to takes a breather....
    WO me, I is okays. Ahem, okays now. Dat guy withs da kerazy eyes is kinda creepy donchoo thinks? He keeps eyeballin me..or wait, never mind. I not thinks his eyeballs actually focus.

    PS: NO BUDDY does these commentary things betters than you! Even if you is da only one.

  2. We Beaglebratz ain't shure what mom did butt we rarely git any kind of spam anymore BUTT even if we did - we cood not comment on it better than u. We due know that we once got one like that dark chocolate but mom woodn't let us read it - she sed it wazn't fur real. Tue bad - soundz like our mom iz kerazy fur dark chocolate like your mom iz.
    Shiloh'n Diva Shasta

  3. Reuben you crack me up. You need to write a book on this. Blooming brilliant pal we have tears in our eyes. High 5! We bow oh great sage. Just loved it. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. Darn you get Cool Drool Spam...

    All I ever get is stuffs about Little Blue Pills and how they could Improve my life and the lives of my beautiful Wives... Hummm must be due to my Name or somethingy. BaaaaaWaaaah.

    butt I really get very very little spam... except in my EMAIL not on my blog... beclaws we have the thingy marked that says NO ANONYMOUS.

  5. We think some of those comments have been through the language translator thingy a few times. We give you full marks for even being able to understand them!

    Knock on wood, we don't get spam AND we don't have the verification thingy.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  6. OMD...OMD!!! Dis be so funny and made my funny bones giggle??? WTH??? How comes I don't get cool drool like dat?

  7. Teehee. Love your answers. Our Lady likes the spam too, it cracks her up!

  8. Reuben you get the best spammers...mine aren't anywhere near this funny...My Momz read this to me and she is laughing so hard she's got teary eyes...You're the best spaminator ever

  9. BOL your spammers sure are weirdos!

  10. OMD you are a genius. You have the best answers to all of these kooks. You sure do get some interesting ones. I only get about dating and stuff. You have a gift of making spammers fun. Thank you

    Loveys Sasha

  11. Reuben! Way to eat up that spam my furiend ;)

    Hey! How'd you get that rocket booster on your sled?! Maybe I can borrow yours for a run? Kinda busted mine.

    Waggin at ya,

  12. Reuben, you are hilarious! Blogger used to catch all of our spam comments up until a couple of weeks ago, when I noticed some slipping through. I turned on comment moderation so I could delete them before they are published, but I will not turn on the evil word verification.

    Susan and Wrigs


Due to many, many spams, you now has to does a registration to make a commentary. Sorries, friends! I truly does love to hear from you all. Just not from spammers.