Friday, December 28, 2012

A Q&A with some of my favorite spammers

Recently I has been getting some interesting spam commentaries on my dogblog. Of course, they no makes it to publications, since my lovely Blogger filter catches all of thems, but still I gets a pee-mail when a new spam commentary comes in. I thought it would be interesting to gather all of my favorite spammers into a forum to has a discussion. So I did. And here is a transcript of the Q & A portions:

Uggh I is so tired of spams; can I has roast beefs instead?!
"With overnight payday loans you can fetch the loan amount in varied ranging from $100 to $1500 with the time period of 14 to 31 days."  -Spamasaurus Rex

Thank you for your question, Spamasaurus Rex. But.....Fetch?! Okay, clearly you no has been reading my dogblog for very long, if at all. I no is the kind of dog to does a fetching. I make my mama do all of the fetching for me. Next commentary, please.

"I read this post completely regarding the comparison of hottest and preceding technologies, it's amazing article." - Spammy McSpammerson

Hello Spammy, what an interesting commentary. Yes it is true, I is a dog of many technologicals. I has even figured how to connect my typewriter to the innertubes! You is correct, my technologics skills is amazing. I should talk more about this in my dogbloggings. Next please..... yes, you there in the back? 

"οbѵiouslу lіκe your web-site but yоu need to tаκe a look at thе spellіng оn ѕеveгal of youг posts. Manу of them aгe rife with sрelling problems and I find it very troublesome tο inform the truth nevегthelesѕ I will surelу come again agaіn." - Abraspam Lincoln

Excuse me for a moment.... I's sorry, Abraspam, I no can stop laughing..... ok, I gathers my Self together to discuss your commentary. Ahem. Now. You seems to be saying that my spellings  no is perfect. So I invites you to come back another time, like when you has learned how to use capital letters and punctuations. Next!

"great pics!!!! very country side effect, love your outfit so chic and lovely!!!"  - Spamanda Bynes

Well thank yous very much, Spamanda, my cavedog sweater IS both chic AND lovely. And yes it is true, some of my stories is set in the countrysides, since I is both a city dog and a farm dog. I is very impressed to find a spammer who has actually been reading my dogblog. Next questioning, please?

"Sweet history. Tends to make me personally desire to be greater. Thanks for expressing. You happen to be amazing." - Sarah Silverspam

Yes it is true Sarah - I is amazing. Really there no is any more to be said on that subject, I think that pretty much covers it. Next questioning..... hold on, is you..... Charlie Spam?!

"I loved as much as you'll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this hike. Review my page ... watch two and a Half men."


Now look here Charlie Spam - you has sanked pathetically low to be leaving dogblog comments that sneakily redirects to reruns of your extremely awful sadly cancelled show. What's that? Oh, your show is still running? But you no is in it? Hmmm, I no can imagine why. But seriously, does you has nothing better to does than spam up my dogblog? That is very sad, Charlie Spam. Very sad. But not sad enough for me to care that much.


Now I would like to know from you, dogblogger friends; does you gets spams on your dogblogs too, and if so, is they as insightful and interesting as the spams on mine? 


  1. Dude! We gets lots of those spammers too! In fact just here's today's awesome comment: Thanks for sharing your thoughts on weight loss management.

    Now if you know us... well, we don't gots any thoughts on weight loss management!

    Sam and Pippen

  2. Hahaha, I love your Q&A session with the crazy spamming humans!! :-D I get them quite often fact, that spelling one is awfully close to one I got a week or so ago!!

  3. Ours are not nearly as exciting or funny as yours, Reuben! Have a great weekend! xoxoxo

  4. OH REUBEN... TRUST me I have never had any spam as entertaining as THESE. LOVE your Responses... BOL
    BUTT I gotta admit that I get some INTERESTING SPAM in my EMAIL SPAM... must have somethingy to do with my NAME... if you get my drift. BaaaaaWaaaah.

  5. BOL we have been getting some too. So funny. We got one saying they love our blog so much that we won $$ which is in Nigeria.
    Benny & Lily

  6. So glad you can make the spammers into a joke Reuben, they really are annoying aren't they!
    Hope you all had the best Christmas and enjoy your New Year too.
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  7. Oh yes indeed I do get similar comments. I am impressed by your clever comebacks. I might try some of that myself.

    Some of those spammers, though. I have one that discusses how delightful my blog is and then it concludes with "buy pee pee stretcher." Actually, that spammer didn't say pee pee but you can guess the rest for yourself.


  8. Great blog today Reuben! We only get one spammer on our blog. It's from Bear Grylls and he's trying to sell Muffin and I some hunting knives. Seriously?? What are two prissy little girl's like us going to do with hunting knives when we're not even allowed to use forks....

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  9. Reuben you are TOO funny far iz only had a couple of spammers & dey not half as funny as yurs...Gud job tellin' dem like it iz

  10. We got a little spam, but we never read it. We will now cause we didn't know it could be so funny!

  11. I do get spam, but they are almost the same and really dumb. Spammers are sassy and should have to go to their rooms.

    Loveys Sasha

  12. Yes, I gets spams too. I kinda wanna eat meat now. Spam :)

  13. Reuben & Family
    We wish you a happy holiday.
    We hope you have a wonderful New Years' Eve.
    At Midnight Plus 1 Second may the New Year start full of fun and joy.
    We hope 2013 will be kind to you all and may many good things come your way.
    PS we were not getting your posts so we opted out and back in again. Hope this works. Have managed to get to you from our Blogger Buddies Page.
    Best wishes Molly

  14. Oh spam, yes, I get it too. So silly and annoying!


  15. Dear Reuben,

    Yes, we get a bit of spam... but I must say that I am very disappointed... I always though spam was something I got to eat! Now my person says it is just words. Sigh. I don't like spam anymore.

    By the way, we picked up your Christmas card today. That is a very pawesome picture of your handsome tongue! Thank-you so much for taking the time to send it to us!

    Yappy new year!


  16. I hate spammies, too! They are evil and deserve to be placed in kennels for the duration of their existence- WITH NO INTERNET!

    Happy New Year!

    Huggies and Cheese,


  17. I not gets much spam but heck nows I want some so I can do me some come back lines too. ! Yours was just brilliant!



Due to many, many spams, you now has to does a registration to make a commentary. Sorries, friends! I truly does love to hear from you all. Just not from spammers.