Saturday, June 29, 2013

Mama comes home and I surprises her.... unfortunately.

I almost no even can believe it - Mama camed BACK!

Stinky Monkey and me is almost too excited even to blog about it. 

Friends, I was beginning to has a worry that she would NEVER come back, after she and people sister left me alone for a WHOLE WEEK with DADDY and HATFIELD.

The horribly traumatic experience of No Mama ended like this tonight:

Mama: "Reuben, we're home!"

Reuben: "Wha.... so.... sleepy.... no can open eyes.... wait OMD it is MAMA!"

Then she scooped me up and taked me to the couch and she and people sister gaved me lots of rubs and lovins.
Oh, yeeaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Mama: "Reuben, you smell even stinkier than usual."

People sister: "Oh, I know what that smell is. It's cow manure."

Mama: .....

And then the next thing I knowed, I was in BATH getting rubbed with Hawaiian shampoos and conditioners!  All of my formidible stink went away. And does you know what else went away! Some FLEAS. Yes, when Mama gotted home I was scented with manure (from the farm) and sprinkled with fleas (probably also from farm). AND.... my bowl was full of the kind of foodstuffs that I HATES. I bet you thoughted that I no hated any foodstuffs! That should tell you how terrible this particular kind of kibble foodstuff is.

Mama says that Daddy has to sleep in doghouse tonight. What's that, Mama? He no actually has to sleep there? Is a "metafoor?" I no knows what that means. All I knows is that Daddy better close the barn door before the piggy escapes. And speaking of piggies.... Mama owes me a whole piggy on account of her leaving me for eleventy thousand years. She says she is working on it. We shall see, shan't we Mama?

At least I has one thingy to console me, and it is the lovely review of my book that Frankie and Ernie posted on their dogblog. Guys, it is like I always says: if I can make just one creature laugh in a day, then my day has been a success. Of course, there is many wisdoms in said book too, wisdoms that I is so happy to has shared with my buddies F & E. Tonight I will dream about frolicking with thems, and deading moles or something, just so I can forget the horrors of my BATH and TERRIBLE FOODSTUFFS and FLEAS and COW POOP.


  1. We bet that after BATH you got more snuggles and loves cuz you smelled so good!

    Bart, Ruby and Otto, who all got BATHS last week!!

  2. Are you sure you want to forget about the cow poop? Some of our best dreams involve cow poop... and goose poop... and cat poop... and well, you get the idea.

    Sam and Pippen

  3. I'm so glad your Mommy came back! Too bad she had to give you a bath.


  4. Can't believe your mum didn't appreciate the good smells you put on for her. Humans--no class.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    We downloaded your book on HER kindle, but haven't read it yet.

  5. We're so glad your Mommy and sister are home before you absolutely withered away, Reuben! Sorry about that bath, though...

  6. Reuben the horror of it!! Mommy finally comes home and you have to get a bath!!! That is cruel, I hope you are doing ok and working on getting your nice scent back.

    Loveys Sasha

  7. Oh noes, it is always a sad event when they wash that well-loved stink away (our condolences).
    Bet it is nice to get your mama back home though!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  8. LOL Reuben .....daddy in the dog house. OMD the trauma of a bath. How will you ever get over it? Welcome home mum. Have a serene Sunday and stay cool.
    Best wishes Molly

  9. Glad your Momma came home but sorry about the bath!! Have fun together R!

  10. We can see why your Daddy spent the night in the Dog House! Fleas..... Yuck!

    We're so happy that your Mom came back. She was gone way too long. Doesn't she know she's supposed to stay home with you at ALL times?

    We can't wait to read F&E's review. We're gonna go see if we can do that right now.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  11. Rueben
    so glad your Mama came home to you. Now she will probably no better not to ever leave you again, stinky is one thing but fleas!! ugh.
    Mom is going to go download your book now!
    Bailey, Hazel & Greta

  12. Oh no - the terrible horrible no good very bad thing called BATH!!!! Oh Reuben, how ever did you survive that? BATH is awful. I too hate it when the people take away the lovely stink that I found to share with them and replace it with something yucky-flower-smelling. The people have no gratitude, do they?

    I am glad you survived, and I am glad your mom-person came home. (Sorry about the Bath, dude.)


  13. What a traumatic night Reuben...All that joy about Mom coming home and then a bath...and fleas...Youch! Hope that at least all the fleas went away...and that Mom stayed :) Happy Sunday!

  14. Good news Reuben, Ma finally bit the bullet and bought us a Kindle! So, soon we can download your book! yea!
    That is such a bummer abouts your bath...the peeps just have no appreciation for all the hard work that goes into gettin' our 'essence' just right. BTW: I gots a bath today too...Pffffft!
    Hopes that those nasty fleas are gone though. I hate those!
    Ruby ♥

  15. You are a wonderful surpriser, R. Filth, stink, and fleas - that's the trifecta of surprises. Well done, buddy.

    Love and licks,

  16. Oh we hates when our momma leaves us overnight with our dad except he does give us bacon, even tho he forgets to feed us on time,....he is often in the doggy house.
    stella rose

  17. Oh dear Reuben... we truly feel sorry for such a cold (literally speaking) greeting you've gotten from your momma. We do hope she gave you lots of love and hugs after that bath.

  18. I am SO jealous! I don't think I've ever smelled like cow manure! I'm not sure I've ever seen or smelled cow manure. But if it's anything like horse manure, I would LOVE it! How sad that you had to take a bath. :(



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