|Stinky Monkey and me is almost too excited even to blog about it.|
Friends, I was beginning to has a worry that she would NEVER come back, after she and people sister left me alone for a WHOLE WEEK with DADDY and HATFIELD.
The horribly traumatic experience of No Mama ended like this tonight:
Mama: "Reuben, we're home!"
Reuben: "Wha.... so.... sleepy.... no can open eyes.... wait OMD it is MAMA!"
Then she scooped me up and taked me to the couch and she and people sister gaved me lots of rubs and lovins.
Mama: "Reuben, you smell even stinkier than usual."
People sister: "Oh, I know what that smell is. It's cow manure."
And then the next thing I knowed, I was in BATH getting rubbed with Hawaiian shampoos and conditioners! All of my formidible stink went away. And does you know what else went away! Some FLEAS. Yes, when Mama gotted home I was scented with manure (from the farm) and sprinkled with fleas (probably also from farm). AND.... my bowl was full of the kind of foodstuffs that I HATES. I bet you thoughted that I no hated any foodstuffs! That should tell you how terrible this particular kind of kibble foodstuff is.
Mama says that Daddy has to sleep in doghouse tonight. What's that, Mama? He no actually has to sleep there? Is a "metafoor?" I no knows what that means. All I knows is that Daddy better close the barn door before the piggy escapes. And speaking of piggies.... Mama owes me a whole piggy on account of her leaving me for eleventy thousand years. She says she is working on it. We shall see, shan't we Mama?
At least I has one thingy to console me, and it is the lovely review of my book that Frankie and Ernie posted on their dogblog. Guys, it is like I always says: if I can make just one creature laugh in a day, then my day has been a success. Of course, there is many wisdoms in said book too, wisdoms that I is so happy to has shared with my buddies F & E. Tonight I will dream about frolicking with thems, and deading moles or something, just so I can forget the horrors of my BATH and TERRIBLE FOODSTUFFS and FLEAS and COW POOP.