Thursday, December 13, 2012

Reuben's letter to Santa Paws

Dear Santa Paws,

dachshund writing a letter
This is a file photo, but my letter looks just like this.

This year I has been a Very Good Dog. I helped protect the house by barking at everything and everyone who camed near it - including and especially the suspicious character dressed in blue and carrying satchels who always is trying to steal my mails.

I only peed in the house a couple of times. For a dachshund, this is amazing.

Yes I ranned away on the farm a few times, and made additional thwarted attempts, but seriously Santa - what you would has done if there was not only monster chickens, but ALSO monster wild turkies to chase through the forests? So you see, these incidents was entirely unavoidable.

I only bited Daddy when it was absolutely necessary: in cases of him being a clear and present danger to my chewies, in which event, I has prior authorization to do a biting of him. I made half-hearted attempts to bite a few other people, so really, those no counts as biting incidents. Oh, I did bite Mama once, by accident - I was trying to bite Daddy. Sorries, Mama and Santa.

I no was brave towards Hatfield the orange kitty every single day. Here is evidence of that one day where I let him sleep next to me.

dachshund and cat sleeping next to each other
Exhibit A: me, not chasing Hatfield. And that's Red Humpy Bed I is sleeping on.

I has treated my Humpy Beds - both Blue and Red - with respect and equality. Due to this, both of thems has all of the stuffings coming out, and one time I ated the stuffings, and then I throwed them up, and Mama thoughted it was a hairball, and the vet was very confused by the whole thing, on account of me not being a catses. Therefore, this year for Christmasses I would like a new Humpy Bed. Of course I still loves Blue and Red, but Mama no wants me to eat any more stuffings, unless they is the kind that comes out of the turkies on Christmas eve.

I assume you will also be bringing the usual assortment of chewies and treats.

Thank you Santa for recognizing me as a Very Good Dog this year!

Merry Festivitals,


dachshund and pink chew toy
With a face like this, how I could be bad?


  1. :D Merry Christmas to you Reuben , and ALL your family , four-legged and 2 !! I'm sure Santa Paws will be very good to you this year !! ( Don't forget about the fire incident !! (y) )

  2. Dude... if you're considered a VERY GOOD Dog then that means we're getting presents too cuz we haven't done half the bad things you've done!

    Sam and Pippen

  3. Dear Reuben,

    That is a very good letter to Santa, and I think you have been a Good Dog this year. You have certainly been a good blog-friend to me, always so supportive and full of wisdom.

    By the way, that photo of you and Hatfield together should definitely be submitted as evidence. Not only evidence of being Good, but also evidence of WHY you're so extra-Good.

    Because, while I knew you were a somewhat smaller dog (the perfect size, I know!), until I saw you next to your Cat I didn't realize quite what your exact size was. Of course, I'm sure Hatfield is a gigantic, enormous, over-size beast. But still - you are certainly extremely Good for putting up with such a huge feline!


    Pee Ess I hope you get a new Bed. Comfy Beds are the best!

  4. Reuben, you are positively a saint! There is no reason why Santa shouldn't bring you everything you want when you only weed in the house a couple of times and only bit Dad when it was necessary. Mum is killing herself laughing, so funny.
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  5. Hey Reuben - Did u know that Santa letterz r bein'read over at Rumpydog's blog? -
    Read down to the end of the post for info. We Beaglebratz figure the more the letter iz seen an'herd the better chance Santa Paws haz of hearin'it. We thinkz it iza great letter. An'u know - comin'clean 'boutz a furry much FEW infracshunz will impress the fat dude - that meanz u knew what u did, not rite BUTT u wanna MAKE it rite - yep, that'z it.
    Shiloh'n The Diva Shasta

  6. Great letter. You've stated your case beautifully. We're sure Santa will bring you everything you've asked for.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  7. The Girlies The Adorable Dachshunds Millie & LottieDecember 13, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    Dear Reuben, how can Santa not be kinds and leave you lots of chewies after such a heartfelt analysisisisisses of you doing goodsdunnings during the year. We will barks at Santa if he is means and give no chewies to Reuben. For you are Reuben the Magnificents and Braves with fearsome tooths and Floppy Tongue Joy.

    Have a wonderfuls Chewie Christmas xoxoxoxoxox

  8. Reuben you have covered ALL the imPAWtant issues and have all the rational layed out. We see NO REASON fur Santa Paws NOT to bring you EVERYTHINGY on your LIST.

  9. Nows Reuben, I thinks there be a clause (no pun intended) in da Santa Clause thingamajig dat says dachshunds can do whatevers they want...or did I just amkes dat up. ANyways, we is allowed to do certain things withouts reprecussions. Besides, whats a little chasin' chickens and turkies anyways, I mean we was bred to do dat sort of thing.

    PS: I DID christen da tree myself...hehehehehe!

  10. WE haven't peed on the tree yet.

    It is a great letter and I am sure Santa will forgive you. If he can forgive me for eating a wall, anything goes. Lee

  11. Silly, don't you know Dachshunds can do whatever we want and still be in the clear?

  12. Me guesses you can pee on da tree and still stay off da Naughty List. Butt.....don't pee on Santa's cookies!

  13. That last pic sealed the deal, Reuben! HaHaMeow!

  14. Even if he did want to put you on the naughty list, your cuteness and floppy tongue would make up for it

  15. Sounds like you were a very honest and good doggie this year. Bat you're going to get whatever you want
    Benny & Lily

  16. Aww Reuben you are definitely on the nice list. I think all dogs should be!

  17. Excellent letter to Santa my friend! Hope you get everything you want!!!

    your pal,

  18. The photos are so cute, especially the last one, who could resist?
    Your honesty in stating your case should definitely win Santa over. :)


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