|Step away from squeaky monkey.... slowly... I no wants to has to hurt you (much)|
To: The International Committee of Human-Dog Relations
Re: Blatant Treaty Violation
October 3, 2012
To the President of the Governing Body:
I brings to your attention today a matter of grave and important..... importance. In a direct and blatant violation of the Reuben-Daddy Peace Agreement of October 2, 2012, Daddy has both purposefully and maliciously stepped upon my squeaky monkey, causing said monkey to emit a.... squeaky monkey sound.
I draws your attention to section 87, clause eleventy of the Treaty:
"No Daddy shall make an overt and deliberate motion in the direction of Reuben's chewies, regardless of the location of the chewies, the location of Reuben, or how ornery Daddy happens to be feeling at that particular moment."
And we all knows, because we has all read section 88 of the Treaty:
"Any attempt by Daddy to handle, manhandle, throw, sit upon, squeeze, or come within 87 foots of Reuben's chewies will elicit a warning bark from said Reuben. In the occurrance that the barkings is ignored by Daddy, subsequent biting actions will be taken."
Please note that the reccommended actions has been taken against Daddy for the unpardonable crime of chewy violation, and should such future events occur, similar actions will has repeatings, adjusted for the severity of the particular situation.
Thank you for your attention to this international incident.
Me, Reuben: a brave and handsome wiener dog