|lyk ongz I is Gretchen!!!!1!111!|
Some of you may be familiar with Gretchen, the freakishly long-legged doxador (dachshund-labrador mix) who lives with Grandpa man. She very rudely used to live in MY house, but she kept doing escapings almost every day to gallivant around the neighborhoods with various strangers. One night she slept in another house and she camed home smelling like perfume and cigarettes! That is when Mama and Daddy decided that due to her crazies, she would has a happy out at Grandpa man's farm instead of in our cityish kind of house.
|Ahhh, perfect: Gretchen, eleventy thousand miles away from me.|
But does you notice how in the above picture there is a orange string tied to her? We thoughted Gretchen would be able to run free in the wind, doing gallivantings around the woods, eating a mole here and theres. Sadly, her affection for strangers led her to always be at the neighbors houses and/or in the middle of the road, like the extremely bad dog that she is.
|Hey! You comes back here right now, young doglady!|
Then the neighbors was all mad, saying "we is calling the dog police on you!" And they no means the fine upstanding kind of dog polices like Sarge. So now she has to stay in the house, with no moles to chase and not even a stranger's car to hop in and go for a ride.
|Her belly has become roundly stout due to her groundings.|
Now, I has devised a solution to this problem. All Grandpa man has to does is teach her to sing. Yes that is right, to sing. Some of you may has heard this song "Call Me Maybe." Well, this morning on the way to school me, Mama and Leah made up the perfect song for Gretchen to sing when she is jumping on and/or licking strangers:
Hey, I just met you
And I is crazy
So here's my dog tag
Take me home, please
And all the dogcatchers,
They tries to chase me
So here's my dogtag
Take me home please
In all seriouses, Mama is looking into electronic fence options, like this one she sawed at the store.
|Stubborn dog? Yes Mama, I think this is the one we needs.|
Does any of you has electric fences? Is they cruel and unusual punishings because of how they does shockings? Can you gets a good one for a reasonable price that will cover like five acres? Mama no has a smart for this, it seems....
|ohmydog, pls get me off this string nao!!11!!1!|