My new organimization DADBIM: Dogs Abandoned Downstairs By Insensitive Mamas

Friends, I wants to speak to you of a peril that affects many dogs with correct-sized legs, like me, and even dogs with freakishly long legs whose houses is unfortunately full of gates, stairs, doors and blockades of all kinds. All too often our mamas is leaving us all alone in the downstairs while they goes upstairs.

This dog has been left in the downstairs, and he no is happy about it.

What they has to does, I asks, that is so important that they no can carry their correct-sized dogs upstairs with them, and then back downstairs whenever said dog is ready to go Out? What horrible kind of thing they is doing to make them forget about us, leaving us alone in the downstairs? Is they bathing? Going potty in the bathroom (even though when I does that same thing, I is a bad dog)? Putting on clothes, those uncomfortable itchy things that keeps you from scratching your personal Self? I no knows. All I knows is that I is alone. This is unacceptable.

And this door is closed too.... WHY?!?!

If Mama is in the house or even near it, she no is allowed to go more than six foots away from me. This is so I can protect her and also get more belly rubs. When me and other dogs is left in the downstairs, bravely choosing to no climb the stairs, not because we is too short, because we no is, but because we is important and should be carried at all times.... we is forced to bark with increasing volumnes to remind our mamas that they has abandoned us in the downstairs, a offence punishable by a fine equal to no less than 87 bacons.

This is why I has decided to start my own organization. It is called

Dogs
Abandoned
Downstairs
By
Insensitive
Mamas

or

DADBIM 

DADBIM will has its first fundraiser next week to raise monies to buy bacons for dogs who has been abandoned in the downstairs for eleventy thousand hours. Or more. I is the executive directinoer and I is needing a vice directioner to boss around, a treasurers who can count to eleventy, and a secretary with opposable thumbs who is in charge of all phone dialing as pertains to foodstuffs deliveries.

I hopes you will join DADBIM in assisting indignant dogs everywhere who is forced to wait in the downstairs while their mamas do unnecessary things in the upstairs. Together we can stops this injustice - we is united in our quest to be fully dependant and constantly adored!

We no will be lefted alone in the shadows anymore!!!