important Statements about my personal self

I feel the time has come to make some very important Statements about my personal self. There are certain things that maybe my blogging friends no is knowing about me, and as the intrepid journalist that I is, it is time to turn the camera inward for a change. Not literally - Mama's camera is out of batteries and if I ever has a camera in my innards, well - probably we is going back to Vet.

This is a file photo of me sniffing Gretchen's butt

So here they is, in no particular order:

• I is soft, like a bunny. Seriously, my fur is the softest dog fur ever. It is hard to tell this on the internets
• I makes a grunty noise when I is happy and a gremlin noise when I is mad
• I has a amazing tattoo - really it is more of a battle scar, for the vet gaved it to me after she stoled my nuggets. It's a cool arrow-looking thing, I will gets my mama to photograph it whenever she gets around to the battery issue
• When Mama is giving me belly rubs and then she forgets to keep doing it, I thrust my prominent manly chest in the air and wiggle around until she remembers that she no is done giving me belly rubs yet
• I has a triangulated patch on my tail with all of the furs missing. Why? I no has any idea
• We share a driveway with our "neighbor." We all knows that this word means "extremely brazen intruder," and I intends to continue terrorizing him until he moves out and gives me back my driveway
• I shakes in the bathtub, but only from COLD. It no is from fear, even though Mama makes the bath waters very warm, still I shivers. From COLDNESS, not fear
• Before I gotted my nuggets stolen at the vet, one of my favorite things to does was hump this other dog across the street. He was a boxer/pit bull mix, so usually I no gotted much higher than his ankles, due to my correct-sized legs
• I gets reverse sneezings all the time. They is most frequent in the middle of the night when Mama has a very important thing to does very early in the morning. She has to wake up and put her hand over my snout so I will stop sneezings, then she no can get back to sleep, so she has to give me belly rubs! It is a great plan of mine
• At home I no will get my foots and belly wet; I will instead do my peeings on the porch. At the farm I will romp happily through the wets all day, peeing on everything to help make it wetter
• We has a pet door that I could (probably)  fit through if I wanted. Instead I prefers to stand at the door and whine and wag my tail until my valet opens it for me

I hope these many interesting facts has given you a great insight into me, Reuben.

Also, I must make it known that my dogblog and Face Books friends is some of the most amazing peoples, dogs and yes, even catses, that ever I has been lucky enough to "meet." Never has I seen a one with my own eyes, in the actual world and not on the internets, and still my friends cared enough about me to help my Mama and Daddy through this hard time with their contributions. I started my ChipIn at about 2pm. I setted it to run through September 7, hoping to maybe reach part of my $469 goal in that time. Four hours later there was enough donations to cover me and Hatfield's vet bills from the past two months, and even a little bit extra too that I will give to my friends Juno and Scout over at Juno's Place, to help with Scout's very expensive surgeries. I made me get a kind of wet feeling in my eyes. I NO WAS crying, probably it was just.... summer allergies. Or cat hairs. I no is exactly sure. I loves you all and I looks forward to many more sharings with all of you.

Love,

Reuben