Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A trip to the farm for me, a brave and fast dachshund

two smooth red dachshunds
Aahhhh a freakishly long-legged dachshund-labrador mix!
The lovely photo above is from when I first gotted to the farm. Here is a little bit of backgrounds: Gretchen, the doxie you see here who is trying to attack my beautiful tongue, used to live with us. However she was annoying and also we think part-wolf, for she spent all of her time doing escapings and romping gleefully through the cities. So Gretchen went to live on Grandpa's farm, where she could run free in the wild. Then Grandpa's neighbors got big frowny faces, even though all she ever does is try to lick people to death and jump into their laps. So now she gots to be tied up outside, and she is a Very Sad Dog. I is looking into electric fence options to contain her annoyingness to Grandpa's properties.

dachshund labrador mix
I'm Gretchen and I'm Beautiful yet Highly Annoying
 I wrote the part about how she is highly annoying. This next photo is of me running into Grandpa's house to eat all of Gretchen's foodstuffs. It is blurry because I is so fast!

dachshund jumping
Food food food food food

Mama tooked Gretchen's foodstuffs away from me, on account of how I is a very stout kind of dog.

dachshund begging for food
Mama, can I has the foods that you think is Gretchen's but really they is mine?

Below you will find Gretchen, too dumb to know about my attempts to eat all of her foodstuffs.

happy dachshund
I'm Gretchen and I has many more tooths than Reuben. Hehehe.

Then I had to go back outside to pee on some stuff. This picture also has a blurry, but if you look closely you will see the best right leg extension ever executed on a pee spot cover up kick. 

See that red squiggly? It is Gretchen's leash, hehehehe

All these butterflies was hanging out,  but they no has beauties like mine!  

butterfly bush
Is that butterfly prettier than me? No, it no is.

Then..... it was time..... for my Big Adventure!

happy dachshund
Look how excited I is! My tongue is so long!

We started out in the fields so I could inspect the crops and fertilize the soil. See how Gretchen is on a leash? It is because she is so bad and runs off for hours and hours and the neighbors has a big angry. Hehehe!
two dachshunds walking
I fertilized the soil by pooping on it!

Then my wild animal instincts emerged and I ran and ran and ran! I was pretty much the fastest thing ever.

dachshunds running with girl
Also I beat Gretchen at a race, but you no can tell from this photo.

I decided I no was stinky enough, so I rolled in something gross.

dog rolling on ground
I must be the stinkiest Reuben I can be!
Then I had to shake. See how aerodynamic my ears is? I is a highly optimized shaking machine.

dachshund shaking
I loves to shake, the farm is a very good place for that.
Next I had to both inspect and supervise some of the plantses.

dachshund on a farm
They all is looking good. Good to pee on, anyway.
 Me and Gretchen was tired dogs.

dachshunds with long tongues
Also we was tongue twins. Best... picture.... ever.
 We felled asleep, except I felled asleep with Mama on this bed and Grandpa felled asleep with Gretchen on his bed. Except the next morning, things was looking rather different:

two dachshunds in bed
Something no feels right..... and it feels like Gretchen too.
Even though Gretchen tried to steal my Mama's bed, still I had a amazing farm adventure. Mama says I ranned so fast and was so happy that she will try to take me out there more often! 

In other newses, tomorrow I has my dentals at Vet. Aaaahhhhh! Probably it is for real this time; I no can escape with that whole "bloodwork thing" again.  Please think of me tomorrow while I is having my tooths stolen. I will try very hard to be brave. Actually I always is brave, I no even has to try.


  1. Oh Reuben, that sounds like a wonderful adventure! I'm a city dog and I've never been to a farm but I know how much I enjoy visiting my uncle in the country where I can run and run and run!

    Good luck on your dental surgery tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you.

    your pal,

  2. Reuben,
    You are such a lucky dog. I never get to go to the farm. And like Gretchen I end up on a leash when I'm not in the fenced in yard. Just because I visit the neighbours and eat the cat food... also something about cars and squealing brakes and how lucky I am to still be alive.

    Misty, the long haired miniature dachshund

  3. Good luck with going to the vet!!! I'm sure you'll be brave! :)

  4. What a great adventure, Reuben! We will be purring hard fur you tomorrow. XOXO

  5. Dear Reuben,

    What smell did you find? Will you share it? I love smells that can be rolled in.

    Good luck with your tooth-stealing tomorrow. Will it make your tongue floppier?


  6. Reuben, thank you for taking me along on your very cool adventure. What a fun time you had, I am totally jellies. I wish I could go there. I will cross paws for you tomorrow and I hope you don't wake up with booboo mouth.

    Loveys Sasha

  7. Reuben what a great place and we loved your account of helping yourself to Gretchens' food. So up our street. Great post pal. Good luck with the toothy thingie. Have a terrific Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  8. We're glad you had a great adventure before your....ugh...VET visit. We hope everything is A-OK.

    You need to help Gretchen behave so she can run free and roll in stuff, too.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & roxy

  9. Good luck tomorrow!! I have to say, I saw your leg extension in the peeing, and I am very impressed. What a great farm outing!

  10. Ahhhhhh Reuben, you so made us smile and laugh this morning. Your farm adventure was fabulous. We can tell that you had such a great time hanging out with slower and not as cute {per you} Gretchen. I say she was an excellent host!

    Good luck today my furend and we'll be checking for an update.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  11. Weuben
    I sinks yoo awe soopew bwave and fast and clevew and coold be a soopew ballewina wif that pawfect leg extenshuns
    I will cewtainly cwoss all my paws fow youw dentals to be quick and not huwtie and make yoow moufs feels bettew. Of couwse I will still be looking fow yoow most bootimoos tongues when you come back fwom the dogtows.

    I hope little Gwetchen can not be tied up all the times cause yoow Gwammpa's fawm looks like the bestest place to wun evew
    Smoochie kisses

  12. That looks really fun, Reuben, I wish I coulds come:(
    And no, not even a butterfly is prettier then da you. :)Or da me!

  13. Such a excellent experience, Reuben! We are purring difficult hair a person the next day.

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