Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Improvs Number Two from the Pork Palace

Gratuitous picture of my beauties.
Here is another of the improvs I has tolded when I performed at the Pork Palace the other night. I asked the audience for:

  1. a famous cat
  2. the name of a restaurant
  3. something you finds in a tree
and they gaved these suggestions:
  1. Mr. Misstofelles (I no has an idea who this cat is, that is the fun part about improvs!)
  2. Olive Garden
  3. bird's nest
And here is the lovely story I wroted:

Once upon a time, Mr. Misstofelles was sniffing around for a nice bush to do sprayings on, when suddenly he had a big idea. "Why does I pee on these bushes; they no is very important and I is a very important kind of cat? I should pee on something that lots of peoples is noticing. Like the fake flowers inside of that Olive Garden, which is conveinently located 5 feet away from me." So Mister Mister entered the restaurant. "Table for one?" said the hostess, to which M.M. replied "I demands the best table in the house, for spraying is my specialty and I no can think of a lovlier place to do such a thing than on your fake flowers." So she led M.M. to a big table by the window, surrounded by fake flowers and bushes. M.M. was getting ready to do his sprayings when the waitress came by with both salads AND breadsticks. "These is for me?" asked the cat. "Yes sir, they're complimentary!" said the waitress. M.M. began to rethink his plan, and he began to munch on the delicious foodstuffs that had arrived free of charge. Next the server came back and took his order for sangrias. M.M. soon had pretty good feelings, and he forgotted all about his important plan. Suddenly he heard a squawking from just behind his fuzzy head. "Hey cat!" It was a mama bird with a disgusting and yet extremely comfortable nest, right in the middle of the fake begonias. "What you wants, Bird?" Said M.M. He had some drunkens by this time. "Well," said mama bird, "I wants you to go away and never comes back. These is MY fake flowers!" The next thing M.M. knew, a large plate of linguni with clam sauce was placed in front of him, and as he began to gobble it up the Mama bird deftly picked up a noodle, wrapped it around his neck, and throwed him out into the street. M.M. had too many drinkings to know what has happened, and Mama bird settled into the plate of linguni and said to her babies "that, my childrens, is how you deal with a cat." They lived happily ever after in the Olive Garden and also became famous for living in the Olive Garden. The End.


  1. Clap, clap, clap!!! We had a great time at the Improvs and loved you story.

    Lily Belle

  2. Great story!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. What a good idea the improvs are! A never ending source of amusement. Have cool Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

  4. I loves it!!! BRILLIANT, Reuben.
    Poor M.M though. I thinks it wud be better if I got a spray instead of him. I prefer real flowers though :)

  5. Very nice story, Reuben!

  6. Love the gratuitous picture of your beauties!


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