|Cheering ups was needed on this very sad day. RIP, Lennox.|
Once upon a time there was a brave and handsome wiener dog named Reuben. "Reuben," said Reuben's mama, you needs to go see Dr. Nutwackers." Reuben had a big nervous for this, for last time he sawed Dr. Nutwackers, the experience was far too literals. So brave and handsome Reuben devised a plan. "First I will pees on this pillow," he schemed, "and then I will orders a pizza with extra bacons." How this was a crafty plan, you is asking? It no was; Reuben just felt like peeing on the pillow and eating pizzas. "Is you ready to see Dr. Nutwacker?" asked Reuben's mama. "Just a minute Mama," he said, doing a very big Whizz on her favorite memory foam pillow. "AHHHHHH!" she said, when she camed in the room and caughted him. Reuben, a smart wiener dog, played dumb. "You mean I NO IS supposed to pee here? I no had an idea, Mama!" "It is okay, sweet Reuben, for you is the most amazing and beautiful wiener dog ever." (***actual response may has differed***) So while Mama went to wash her pillow out in the bathtub, Reuben called up for some pizzas. "Yes, that will be 5 extra-large double bacon and sausage and pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese and extra crust. This time, you no sends a delivery man with Scary Hat!" For Reuben hated Scary Hats. In about 30 minutes the doorbell ranged and Reuben ranned to answer it, barking all the ways. Then his Mama camed to the door. "I no has time for this, young man, I must take my poor dog to Dr. Nutwackers!" "Dr. Nutwackers?!" said Pizza Man. "He owns this pizza store, you no knowed that?" In fact, she no had known that, and Reuben no had either. Suddenly, Reuben flopped down on the pizza he was nomming on and felt a floaty feeling in his head. "What you has done to me!?" he slurred, before he was knocked completely out. When he woked up there was a great pain in his unmentionables and he was in a crate at Dr. Nutwackers office. "You may has fooled me this time, Nutwacker, but I will gets you next time. Mwahahahahaha.... " The End.
Thank yous all and good nights! For those of yous who has had too many bacontinis, please do proceedings to the line of peoples waiting outside with leashes to safely walks you home. If you is a talent scout from Second City, you may send my new contract to floppytonguejoy AT gmail DOT com.
I gots two more of these stories from last night, and I will do more postings of them at another time!
If you thinks I has many funnies, you can vote for me, Reuben, and my blog, Floppy Tongue Joy, in the 2012 Petties awards. I is a finalist in the Funniest Blog or Blogger category, so you gots to click on this link, do a Face Bookings login, and scroll down to my category and select Floppy Tongue Joy. Thank yous!