Reuben is in charge!

Yesterday afternoon I went to visit my friends over at Ringo's Rat Tales. I no gotted to actually see the rats themselves, for surely I is so ferocious that they would run away forever and ever. Angela and Ringo gots a dog too - her name is Lucy, but she was in her crate because, much like Gretchen the Doxador, she likes to sprint out the front door and into the street at every opportunities. So even though I no could see or hear these not-very-fearsome animals, I could SMELL them. Something had to be done about that.

This is a file photo.

Imagine that here I is indoors, and that this tree is a nice container holding things in the living room. I did what any brave dachshund would do - I peed on it. Then Mama gasped and said "No Reuben, No! Bad Dog!" and it hurted my feelings, for I was only trying to prove that their house and all the things in it belongs to me. She picked me up and held me in a kind of football-cradle way for the rest of our visit, probably because she loves me so much and no can resist my beauties.

This morning Mama woked up and reached for her glasses and said "OW!" "What it is, Mama?" I asked, and she says, "Reuben, I has a great soreness in my arm from holding you for so long yesterday." Probably she could use the strength training I provides free of charge, so I is sure to receive some treats today for this important service. You're welcome, Mama!