Friday, March 30, 2012

Reuben the Police Dachshund

Well friends, spring has sprung upon us, and with it comes more opportunities for me to be out in the yard or taking walks, and doing two very important things:

1. Peeing on Everything That is Mine
2. Barking Fearsomely at People, Cats, Squirrels, Other Dogs, Birds, and Maybe a Few Chickens

The peeings is self-explanatory - I has to establish all the things that is mine, and that is a very hard job, for everything is mine. I works tirelessly at it.

Yes I has posted this picture before - it is a timeless classic.

Being a police dachshund is also a very big and important job, but here at least I gets confirmations that I is doing it very well. When I is out walking with Mama, I barks very bravely when another person approaches, especially if they also has a large dog with them. Their dog, who always has freakishly long legs (not the correct-sized legs that I has), is so frightened of me that they behaves themselves when I barks ferociously at them. Then Mama says, "I is so sorry, Other Person, for my dog is a big and scary wiener dog, and very brave too." Then Other Person says "hey there big fella, you is one tough wiener dog! And handsome too!"

The handsome part also is true.
Also I spends many hours sleeping vigilantly, keeping alert for the sound of intruders, or for the sound of the neighborhood cats, who has very rudely decided to has a meeting spot in my bushes.

I sleeps vigilantly to protect us all.
Any peoples who come in the house also get barked at. This includes Daddy, for he is a male kind of person, and therefore a threat to my territories. It also includes Grandpas, Mama's friends, Daddy's friends, Leah's friends and repairmens. I does such a good job keeping us safe that we no has had a home invasion since I has been here! (They says they no had one before I came here either, but probably that no is true).

It is time for me to stop my typewritings and get back to vigilantly sleeping - I is already way behind schedule for the day. Spring break is next week, and we gots a trip to the mountains, then we gots an Aunt Dana coming to visit! She has a similar to Mama, so I may even bark at her less than most other family members!


  1. It's a tough job....but someone has to do it!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  2. We think you're doing a most excellent job on patrol. You keep up the good work!

    Happy Spring!!

    Lily Belle

  3. I totally understand the need for constant vigilance. I had to go to the VET today & you can't even imagine the number of things that I had to pee on. I barked, but they took some of my blood. I have vampire Vets!!!

    Must rest,


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