Thursday, March 22, 2012

I makes a great improvement to the vacuum cleaner

You know what is one of the best inventions that no has been maded? It is a thing that you roll over the rug to make it looks like you vacuumed, when in fact, you is too lazy to vacuum. Now I has done many, many Googles, and I no can find anything about this kind of thing! All I founded was a human on a message board   who said this: "When I was a kid one of my jobs was vacuuming. If my Mom wasn't home instead of using the vacuum I would get a dictionary or other heavy book and push it around on the carpet to make vacuum marks."  This blog mentions a similar good idea by human children. Truly, they is the light of the world. 

Still, they no is good at sharing.

Now, surely some among you has done this (Mama says she no has. She is lying). On the one paw this behavior may come across as lazy, but in fact it is a kind courtesy to your dog. I works very hard to get my Reuben smell on everything, especially the carpet (we only gots one in the house, so I gives it my full attentions). The vacuum cleaner comes through and then - BAM! - my lovely smell is goned from the rug and instead it smells like burning hairs. 

Here I is hard at work.
There may has been some foodstuff crumbs on that rug, and I could has eated them, but now - how I will ever know? 

Yes i has made this mess. No get vacuum please, i cleans it with my tongue, ok? 

Another big problem is the loudness of the vacuum. Of course I no is scared of it, for I no has an afraid of anything, but when it is near sometimes I get cold and start to shake a little. It must be all the cold airs blowing out of it. What I does is stand bravely behind Mama's foots while she is battling the vacuum monster, so at the first sign of dangers I can jump out and bark that stupid thing away. I makes sure to stay right behind Mama's foots for the entire session. Mama always loses, for the rug no longer smells like me and then I has to start my rollings all over again. It is the same thing with the laundry, with which of course I is also a big helper. Mama no is a very good housekeeper.

I is much better at laundries than she is. 
So here my point is: why no one has invented a little wheelie device to rolls fake marks over the carpet? You no has to plug in or empty, no smells like burning hair, and your loyal dog can go back to napping, for his smell has been adequately spread (after he eats the foodstuff crumbs off the floor for you, like the good dog he is).

Now I must look into finding some adventure capatilists, and I gots to send in my paperworks to the patent office. Does any of you dogs want to be my financial backers? We will make enough monies to buy many, many pizza crusts! 


  1. haha! We HATE the vacuum. It is loud and scary! We are lucky, though because Mom doesn't vacuum much because we don't have carpet.
    ~Milly and Shelby

  2. Good idea, but we don't think it'll work here. We just go outside when Vacula is moving around the house. SHE seems to like that noisy thing.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. I see the vacuum cleaner as competition, because I like to hoover the floor myself :)

  4. i totally agree!! these are all great ideas :) doxies make the best vacuums, my dog sucks everything up the second it hits the floor! thanks for the birthday wishes!

  5. This is true genius! I want in on the ground floor.

    Nubbin wiggles,

  6. Hey Reuben,

    You're not scared of the vacuum - wow - you're brave!! I don't like the vacuum and I bark at it - unless Dad's using it then I go and find Mum and sit with her……

    I so wish Mum would use a book instead or the uninvented vacuum you speak of…….

    Bliss - great idea buddy :)

    Your pal Snoopy :)


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