Now I gives lessons!

Yes, it is true that my tongue is magnificent, as is my snaggletooth. But now I is not only big, courageous and beautiful, I is a teacher too! If you no believe me, look at this blog. I no has been to a dog show (though Mama says she will take me to a wiener roast next year, so long as no wieners are actually roasted. I has suspicions). But they sound kind of silly. What kind of judge would see my immeasurable tongue and not give me trophies? No one would even take such a competition seriously unless I was getting a first prize.

I loves praise and adoration, so to anyone else who wants to write about me: you has my permission, so long as you point out how brave and strong I am about every other line.