I no can tell a lie

Much like a human who I think is named George Barkington, I no can tell a lie. 

Look at this face. How I can tell a lie?

I has a feeling that Ingrid came here to steal my family. It's my family it's my family it's MINE!!! So, I no has been the most hospitable dog in the last few days.  I really enjoy sniffing her and sleeping near her for extra doggy warmth. But when she gets too close to my Mama I has a fit! Sometimes I has a fit when Ingrid gets too close to me - she's taller than me, so I has to pretend to be very big and scary and let everyone know that it's my house it's my house it's MINE!!! You no can tell the big dogs (especially NOT Ingrid), but I is a very small and tiny wiener dog who sometimes has a frightened of big dogs. That is why I bark so loud and so frequently! I has to look like one tough wiener. Ingrid no is that big... but still, I has a frightened.

Today we had a ride to school with Leah. Mama drove us back home and then we did a walk. I made sure to mark everything, so Ingrid knows exactly what is mine, which is everything in the neighborhood. I pooped in a neighbor's bush, like a good dog. But Ingrid no is a good dog! She pooped on the living room floor - twice - right after we came inside. Mama was mad and it was stinky. Which gave me a glad feeling, because she got in trouble, hehehehe! Then, after Leah came home, Ingrid escaped from the backyard and headed towards the street. Now, I has done that before too - there are squirrels to chase, other dogs to meet and lots of stuff to pee on. So for that I has an understand. But since she is much faster than me (she has long, very un-wiener-like legs), she can has many adventures in the time it takes me to have one adventure.

This will show you how much I is a jealous dog. Mama and Leah sometimes play a game where Mama lifts Leah is the air and swings her back and forth. It's called "Jealous Dog." When Leah is in the air, I no has an idea if my mama is safe, and I no has an idea why Mama is picking her up instead of me. So I bark and bark and bark and then jump on Leah when Mama puts her down (I has short legs, but I do the best jump I can). They think it's funny but it no is funny. I is a very busy dog, protecting the house at all times. I has lots of work to do! Even when I am sleeping, which is most of the day, I is still working. I listen for danger and then bark at it. I must sound big and scary, since I is a tiny wiener dog who no has many teeth.

That is all for now. I will now go back to sleep until dinner. I no will let Ingrid steal my dinner. It's my food it's my food it's MINE!!!