These is the Frosty Paws winners!

Friends, I received so many lovely photos for Reuben's Frosty Paws contest that it gives me a sad kind of feeling that I only can choose 10. I wishes I had enough ice creams and stuffies for EVERYONE; sadly, I no does. So I wants to thank everyones who sended me photos; truly I appreciates all of thems and ALL of you is deserving of treatables. So in no particular ordering, here is the winners! Everyone is either playing outside in the snows or snuggled up inside, as far away from snows as possible.

Puddles

Shiloh and Shasta

Doc the chiweenie

Huck and Isis 

Maxwell Lewis

Mia

 Liam (L)  and Twisty 

Violet 

Chichi from Prancer Pie

and Gunnar

Dottie

(I has a great sad to report that my friend Dottie went to the rainbow bridge only a few days ago, surrounded by loved ones and after a meal of steak and bacons. Goodbye Dottie, I will misses you - and brother Gunnar, please take good care of your Mama during this hard time. I know you wills, for you is a good dog)

Now, if you sees your picture above, I will need an e-mailing of your street address for where I should send the treatables and stuffy to. This in my e-mail address. Even if you has gaved me your address before, for holiday cards and such, it would has a big helpful to send it again (my administrative assistant is so scatterbrained). I would like to mail all of thems out in the next week or so. I no wants you to has to wait any longer for your ice creams! A big thanking again to all of the good dogs who sended me their lovely photos, and if it was up to me I would go raid the Frosty Paws factory and send ice creams to everyone. I mean. If that no was illegal. *cough snarf* And also I would like to does a thanking of Frosty himself, for giving me the stuffs to send to my winners. This has been a presentation of Reuben's Very First Contest, I hopes to does more of thems in the future!

Of course it is Blogville Sled Day, hosted by none other than Sarge himself. Check out the sled he made for me; it is perfectly customized to my specificationings, right down to the last detail!

More funs with spammers

The spams just keeps coming here at Floppy Tongue Joy, and I for one no could be happier. Those of yous who has word verifications turned on, and you knows who you is, is really missing out. In casing you missed my last post about my favorite spammers, I will lets you know that I receives spams that Blogger is very good at catching before the comments is published. Still I gets e-mail when I has new comment, and so these lovely nuggets of wisdom comes straight to my inbox! Is I a lucky dog or what?

Almost as lucky as when Daddy gaved me this steak bone!

What I likes to does is gather all of my spammers together in a room to has a Q&A session with the author, which is me, Reuben. Clearly they is big fans of Floppy Tongue Joy - for example, this guy named "Anonymous" leaves tons of commentaries! What a dedicated reader. So here is the transcript of my 2nd edition of Reuben's Q&As with Spammers:

"A tastier and richer dark chocolate will eventually destroy the foundations of what sustains a committed relationship.  Most of these scenarios dont mean for sure that the relationship bottoms of his shoes, which is highly offensive in the region." - Spam Yankee

Mr. Yankee - and I knows you is a mister and not a misses, based on your lack of knowledge about women, chocolate and relationships  - your commentary is highly offensive to my region. My mama is expert on dark chocolate, and let me tells you that when Daddy does something wrong, bringing her dark chocolate is a very good way to sustain the committed relationship. I will agree with you on one point though - the bottoms of Daddy's shoes is offensive. Next question, please.

"What's up every one, here every person is sharing such experience, so it's fastidіouѕ to rеaԁ thіs weblog, аnd I useԁ tо vіsit thіs blog everуԁay. Also visit my web-site colon cleanse boise id." - Spam-Wow Guy

OK, that no is really a question, but I rolls with it. In fact, I has question for you: what is a We Blog? Maybe it is some kind of crowdsourcing resource for colon cleanser salesmans from Boise? I suggest you share your colon-related experiences on that kind of website instead of here. Who is the next questioner..... yes, you there in the back?

"This is not something that you want to take lightly. Making fun of yourself may be ether good or bad based on the way you do it. Do not sign onto your dating profiles from public computers, and keep your computer's security software updated."  - Spamerella

These is very good advices, Spamerella, thank you for sharing thems. Two things I certainly never makes light of is a) internet safety and 2) making fun of peoples. I would never make fun of peoples. Catses on the other paw is different story. Next question?

"Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I truly enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author. I will always bookmark your blog and may come back at some point." - The Spamburgler 

My my, you always bookmarks my dogblog, and even you might come BACK to visit me someday? If only I could be so lucky! Next question, yes, you there, man with crazy eyes.

"Taking your date to your partner? And you ARE To improve the match and cheer for your children to naturally adapt to the old food. . Anywhere you are going on. All the while they remember you and we still don't know yourself then you can send messages and you will have a huge amount of confidence which people over the last.. Turn your mundane online Dating a neighbor and not to marry a non-believer? Connection between you to ensure singles make out in Ventura, Cali." Sir Spam-a-Lot

I thinks you no has been reading my dogblog very often, for if you was, you would know this is PG-rated site! Maybe you only is getting keyword match for my posts about my humpy beds - Red, Blue, and New. What I feels for my humpy beds - all of thems - is real and true lovings. Except for when I is attacking thems. Other than that, it is a deep and heartfelt kind of love. Never does I simply "make out" with humpy beds. I is in it to win it, sir.  Looks like we has time for one more questioning.... yes, you there, front and center."

"Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it's driving me insane so any assistance is very much appreciated. payday loans no credit check online pay day loans online payday loans instant cash loans online payday loans online the payday no credit check payday loans Feel free to visit my web-site guaranteed payday loans."  - I Spam a Cinematographer 

Well, you has certainly said a mouthful there, Mr. Spamatological. The name of the plug-in I uses is.... oh wait, I no has one. The reason for this is so I makes sure to never miss a commentary from an insightful and apparently endlessly wealthy lender such as yourself. Mama is expecting 1 million dollar paycheck very soon; I will be contacting you privately on the details of you advancing us those monies immediately. 

Thank yous very much for this enlightening experience, spammers, and please, keep the commentaries coming! 

For non-spammers, today is the last day to enter Reuben's Frosty Paws giveaway. I no can takes any entries after midnight, Eastern time, February 1, 2013. I no can waits to do an announcing of the winners tomorrow! 

In troubles

All I has to says for myself is that I is innocent. Where my lawyer is? I demands justICE!

Hatfield the orange kitty setted me up!!!

Speaking of ICE, and also of CREAMS, please no forgets that I has free Frosty Paw coupons to give out and also a stuffie to go with thems! All you has to does is e-mail a photo of your lovely self EITHER

A. outside in the snows 

OR

B. inside, snuggling up and enjoying comfies (this is a good option if you no has snows, or if you just hates snows. Like me!)

I will posts the winning photos on my dogblog and then you will gets free ice creams. It is a no-harebrainer, friends.

Frosty says it can be USA dogs only - he says they no makes his ice creams anywhere else. Meanwhile, I has started a petition to bring Frosty Paws to every corner of the earths! I mean, I will starts one. Right after my nap. 

My tongue has a big case of dry.

OMD, free Frosty Paws for my friends!

Well friends, this is a very auspishious night here. We is about to get our first (and probably only) snows of the year, and since I hate the snows, I has decided to discuss more important things. Like treats! You knows, I no has an understand for WHY the skies brings us snows and rains, when instead it could be bringing us Frosty Paws.

So friends, tonight here is my gifting to you: free Frosty Paws!

These is the treats I referred to earlier.

This lovely company has wroted me a letter; it went like this:

"Dear Reuben,

Here is coupons for eleventy thousand (actual number may differ) free Frosty Paws and also some stuffies.  Please distribute thems to good dogs. They only can go to United States dogs. Sorries."

Regards,

Mr. Frostypaws"


From what I understands, these treats is ICE CREAMS FOR DOGS. This is what a dog enjoying ice creams looks like:

*omnomnomnomnomnom*

So here is what I proposes to does. If you wants some free Frosty Paws, and also a free stuffie (I has been told that these stuffies is intended for PEOPLES, and not dogs), here is what you does: do a sending to me, Reuben, of a lovely photo of yourself either

a) in the snows or
b) staying cozy inside and completely avoiding all snows.

If you lives in a magical place where there is no snows, you has my permission to does some creativities to your photos.

Then I will post my favorite 10 photos right here on my dogblog, and send all of the winners some couponings for free Frosty Paws and also the aforementioned stuffie. Here is a preview of the stuffie:

for peoples only!

You gots until midnights on February 1 to send me your photos. In case you is confused about what snows looks like, here is some pictures from last year of me, Reuben, unfortunately in the snows. The one snows that we gotted, anyway:

However, this is what I prefers to does when it is snowing:

in my cavedog sweater!

I looks forward to seeing all of your lovely photos and also to distributing treats. Remember, sends your pictures to me here, and also send me a link to your blog, and I will posts the winners after the February 1 deadline!

(My great and deep apologies to all of the non-USA dogs)

My box from Garth! And a couple other things too

Friends, I no has been doing a lot of bloggings and face bookings lately. Mama has been very busy, she has about eleventy different jobs, she goes to schools, and she also has the important job of taking care of me, Reuben. And Leah and Hatfield too, I guesses. What this has to do with my computerings, you asks? Well, it is easier to reach the keyboard when I sits in Mama's lap, due to my correct-sized legs. So when I no has a good lap space to work on, I spends my hours sleeping and barking at Hatfield instead. I has a great responsibility for these things.

I gotted tired of how Mama no was providing me a lap to work in, so I fiercely barked at her until she throwed up her hands and said "ok, fine Reuben, we will go work on the bloggings now."

I mentioned the other day how i gotted another package in the mail - from Garth, for recognitions in his Silly Photo Contest! Here is the story of how I opened them.

I was busy with Blue Humpy Bed when Leah said "guess what Reuben, you has a package!"

I could make a unsavory joke here, but since I is a gentledog, I no will

And the next thing I knowed....

Magicals!

All of these things appeared before my eyes! Look, there is ornaments for the tree of Christmas, with my name on thems, and a trophy for my beautiful self, and a paper stamper and photos of handsome Garth! Now, maybe you is wondering what happened in between of when I was humping and when the gifts was on the table. So I will show you:

omfg new chewy!!!!1!1!!1!1

Yes it is true, another chewy for me, Reuben! Leah rudely teased me with it for eleventy years before I finally snatched it with my jaws of death.

MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE

 Once I gotted it, I was sure that Mama was trying to take it away. Why else she brought out the flashy beast? Obviously she was trying to distract me, but I no was having any of it.

Has I mentioned already about how this is mine?

I refused to show my handsome face to the flashy beast while I was getting acquainted with new chewy.

Notice how I does extra guardings of it with my right front paw

But I did a sneezing, and Mama gotted a picture of my tongue.

It is a marvelous tongue

Leah's favorite part was the soft fuzzies that came in the ornament box.

Why the packagings is always the best part for small peoples?

And look! Not only did I get a chewy, I gotted a chewy that will help with my dentals!

Eleventy times better than a teethbrush

Thank yous Garth and Garth's mama for a amazing box! 

Pee S: I gotted my first batch of thank yous cards sent to my lovely friends who helped with me and Hatfield's chipin. It was an ordeal of epic proporionings. I included with all of the letters a 4x6 signed photo of me, Reuben. Does you know how many stores Mama had to visit to find a box of 4x6 cards? 

5

Yes, five stores. And still she no founded exactly the right thing. She had to buy half the cards from one store, and half from another, but then the antelopes envelopes was too small, so she had to buy two things of party invitations from another store, just for the 4x6 antelopes envelopes. Probably now we will has a party, since we has so many blank invitations! Sadly, we no has any antelopes envelopes to send them in. Then she ranned out of stamps and had to go to another store for those too.

The moral of this story is..... um..... 

........

The moral of this story is that the amount of bacons you give Reuben no is ever enough, even when you think it is.  You should give Reuben more bacons.

PeePeeS: I gotted my backpack from Sarge for schools, but I no went! I missed Blogville schools but it NO IS my fault. I will explain next time. 

A Garth Award for me, Reuben!

I has many prouds to get a special Garth award in Garth's silly photo contest! All of the entries had awesomes and I is grateful for the time and works Garth put into his first ever contest.

I hope Halloweens never, ever ever comes again.

I fearsomely guards my chewies and at the same time is pretty for the camera

Friends, in case you is not knowing, I has entered my beautiful face (and chewies) into a Face Books contest. The theme is dogs and their favorite toys.  CLICK HERE FOR VOTINGS PLEASE; you gots to click on "pet photo contest." I is in the fifth row!

I no hopes to win (though Mama contemplates attaching the pet's eye view camera to Hatfield for a day); I hopes only to spread my floppy tongue joy across the globe and the innertubes.  

Hatfield'd day is extremely boring.