A staycation for Reuben.... kind of

Friends, it has been too long since I tooked a proper vacationing. The demands of constant napping and chewing, as well as the prohibitive cost of absolutely everything, has made it very hard to does all of the travelings I loves to does. First I travels to a place. Then I gets out of the car and begin the satisfying task of peeing on every single thing I sees. Oh how I misses that! So I has decided to take a virtual vacation - or a staycation - today, and to bring all of my dogblogging friends along with me. Here we goes....

the Blue Ridge Parkway

I think something is missing from this ski slope.

Yes, this river is to my liking.

neat water wheel

some Blue Ridge mountains

fun river that I no gotted to visit due to the rough terrain

same thing, different river. 

I is too senior for all of this.

OMD, that looks like the coldest bath evers!

I did a great job of supervising the horses on our friends' mountain farm.

More of the horse supervising I referred to earlier.

It was only a day trip to mountains, so now we comes back home to my lovely city for a big night out:

And then we puts our hands up, like the ceiling no can hold us!

Thanks for hanging out with me today!


Pee S. My very first book is now available for purchasings on my publisher's website!It will be coming to Amazons and Kindles in the summer.

A mountain adventure in which I is very brave towards horses, chickens and children

I has had a very active and important weekend, for Mama, Leah and I has gone to the mountains to visit some of Mama's friends. It was the first birthday party of an adorable baby named Ellis (almost as adorable as me!), and so in addition to the horses, dogs and chickens, there was lots of extra people, many of them very very small!

I tries to hide in the shadows, but still they pursues me

I was very excited to has so many new things to pee on, and so many different kind of animals to show my bravery to.

I supervises the poultries

I goes to meet a horse before Mama rudely carries me away

I does a lot of this all over everywhere!

What is this, a Reuben sandwich with freakishly long bread?

You will be pleased to know that I has only snapped at one baby and just a couple of kids. I was on my very best behavior! I did lots of barkings whenever Mama lefted me alone on the porch; I wanted to make sure none of those stranger babies was attacking her. For some reason the humans didn't like it when I tried to pee on the side of a baby seat with a baby in it. I no has an understand - I was outside, and also that was MY baby seat, ever since I saw it. Because I is a tolerant and magnanimous dog, I even letted the kids chase me and pet me.

I is too fast for them!

But then I letted them catch me.

Still, I no is sure about all these hands.

Being the helpful dog that I is, the floor no even needed to be swept after the party, for I has cleaned all the cake crumbs off of it! It was such a delicious party that I no needed dinner that night. After one more shift on horse supervision duty,

Yup, everything looks good.

we packed up the next morning (after Mama and Leah rudely lefted me alone to go hiking; I barked a lot to let them know they forgot me). Me and Leah had a nice nap in the car, and when I woked up we were in a place called West Asheville, where Mama and Daddy used to live. We stopped to eat at this restaurant:

It is called the "Lucky Otter," but for this I no has an understand - clearly that is a two-headed dachshund on the sign. And since I is at least as brave and handsome as two dachshunds, and probably more, this place should be called "Lucky Reuben."

I hope I is lucky enough to gets my own burrito!

And since I was looking very noble and also stylish in my sweater, Mama and Leah has took some pictures of me at the "Lucky Reuben."

I even gotted some beans and coleslaw in my dog bowl, but I ated it so fast that it no was possible to take a picture.

Today I is taking it real easy, since I had such a big and brave weekend. That is the best kind of weekend for me to have, for I is a big and brave dog! I hopes we go again soon.

I has been very busy

I has been a very busy wiener dog since returning from our vacation! I had to pee on everything in my neighborhood, again, because it is all mine and other dogs no can has. Also, I has been doing lots of digging and dirt-kicking out at Dad's farm. I no has ever seen a place with softer dirt. I is amazing at digging and kicking it. You know what? At the beach I had many kicks and digs too! There was sand in many various places, although I no has an experience of seeing this "ocean." Some humans decided the shore no was good enough for wiener dogs, so I is not allowed on that particular beach. It is due to the inferior sand, I is sure.

I had many enjoyments taking walks near the beach house, and in the nature woods, with Gretchen and Mama. There was a lot of work to do, since I no had peed on anything there ever before! And I gave a terrible fright, I is sure, to the dog next door. Mama called him Dino Dog:

No need to has a worry, I no hurted him even once.

Here's me kicking the fantastic forest dirt:

Notice how I has kicked up a lot of dirt with my back legs. Also, I has very good form due to my perfectly crouched hindquarters.

Sometimes Leah had to walk not only me, but also me and Gretchen. I think she no has a particular like for that.

I no can imagine why.

I rolled in the grass.

I has a warm belly.

I slept in the sun.

Gretchen was there too.

Mama saw many wildlifes at the beach. All I can say is that those wildlifes are lucky they did not see me, because I is so big and scary. These are the wildlifes I no saw:

Dad says the squirrel has an endangered, and there is only 150 left on the whole world! I say that my tail is more magnificent than this squirrel's tail, or any squirrel's tail. Mama says the wild ponies no came near the humans, which is probably good. If a wild pony saw me, it would run very far away in fear. So would the vulture. And the seagulls (Leah calls them eagles). And the egret. And the sea birds, running back and forth all day long and hardly ever peeing on anything! I think they no has an intelligence.

Oh, and on our last day I went with Gretchen and Daddy to a seafood restaurant on the harbor. There I also had a lot of work to do, because I had to make sure every person who walked by got to hear my impressive barks. It was lunchtime on a very beautiful day, so I was very busy. Daddy no seems to appreciate all my hard work to keep the family safe from dangers. I barked at every single thing that moved, but he kept putting his head in his hands and saying "Sorry folks, I know he is a big mean and scary dachshund," and of course that is true. When Mama and Leah came back from the bookstore, Daddy handed me right over and said "they're all yours now." Mama is so lucky to have me!


I kept hearing people say "hush puppies," but I no paid an attention. Also I think they were conversating about some delicious fried cornmeal that Leah was nomming all up. Also my strong leadership inspired Gretchen to do lots of barks too. Sometimes we can make a good wiener dog team. But mostly I has to bark at her all the time. She no can seem to remember that it's my chewy it's my chewy it's MINE!!! 

So this past week I has of course been very busy peeing throughout the neighborhood and uploading my beach photos. But next time I think I will demand to see the ocean. From what I understands, it has lots of sands nearby that need to be digged up. It is true that a wiener dog's work no is ever done.

I has big adventure news!

Tomorrow morning, the peoples and the dogs is leaving for the beach! Mama no knows if I has beach experience, and I no is telling that secret. She says there is wild horses at a beach called Chinquoteague. I no is afraid! I will bark and bark at any wild horses who tries to steal my chewy. I knows it will be my job to protect the family from any dangerous horses, and so I has an excitement about this trip. Mama says there is lots of different animals on this island, so I has many more creatures to bark at. I will has a lot of work to do there. Since I no has peed on ANYTHING in Chinquoteague yet, I will be very, very busy peeing on Chinquoteague. So I no will has time to update my dogblog until we come home. I is very excited for Beach Adventures, and I will gives all the news about it when we comes home!