Thursday, June 21, 2012

My Brand New Chewy

This is me.

dog with floppy tongue
I is having a nice rest on this blankie.

This is me after I gotted my BRAND NEW CHEWY!!!

I has a chewy, and it is MINE!!!
Getting a new chewy is one of the best things in the whole of the entire worlds. This one smells like Target, so I now must work very very hard to make it stinky, just like the insides of my robust mouth.

However, this morning I, Reuben, has gotted in trouble with a different chewy. Having a new chewy made me remember how much all my other chewies is MINE. I was hanging out with Red Chewy on the big bed when Daddy went to pick me up and carry me downstairs. Certainly I is big enough to walk up and down stairs. I just prefers to be carried.  But not this morning, for when Daddy came in to scoop me up, I thought he was stealing my chewy and I bited him real hard! And even he was bleeding (on his hand). Everyone had many upsets, and when I saw just how many upsets they had, I began to feel a sorry kind of feeling. So I went to Mama and sat on her, but she no would even give me one belly rub. I must has done a Very Bad Thing.

dachshund in the bath
Please to not put me in the bath for this Very Bad Thing.

Mama had to carry me downstairs, since Daddy was bleeding on account of my bitings. Now, all of these dramas happened with Red Chewy. When I got downstairs I remembered about New Blue Chewy. So I picked him up and tooked him outside with me, and he stayed in my mouth while I did my morning pee. I broughted him back inside and I no dropped him until it was time for foodstuffs.

If you tries to take this chewy I will try to no has so much blood this time.
For further proofs of how much I loves my chewies, please see Exhibit A and Exhibit B. Also this should tell you how much I loves New Blue Chewy: it is many many hours and days later, and still I is chewing on him. In case you was wondering, it is very hard to type AND chew ferociously at the same time.

I is watching you, potential Chewy Stealer.


  1. Wow, you really love your chewies!! I am sorry you got scolded by mommy and daddy. But I am thinking you were really all ferocious looking. They just got scareded.

    Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,

  2. Reuben you are naughty biting daddy allover chewey. Hope daddy's hand is better and we know you are really sorry!
    Best wishes Molly

  3. Reuben, it be hard to not think someone taking toy. I gots fishy, hamburger, crunchy man, bobo, and blowy ball (squeaky broke), and have to remember that mama and daddy throw toy for me to run for! They not eat my toys. Mama says sometimes they are yucky, and she washes them. Then they taste like soaps, and I have to fix them.

  4. Ahhhhh Reuben. We're sorry too that you gots scolded, but biting is a BAD thing. Muffin bit Mommy on the lip last year and Mommy wouldn't talk to her for like 87 hours! Not good!! We sure hope that Daddy will forgive you by tonights. Maybe give him some extra licks and all will be forgiven.

    Lily Belle
    P.S. your new blue chewy looks awesome.

  5. We're sorry that your Dad got hurt; but you gotta protect those chewies. We hope all is forgiven.

    The Blue Chew looks awesome, are you going to destuff it?

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    Do you bite your tongue sometimes?

    1. Well guys, I no does a lot of destuffings or tongue-bitings, for most of my tooths is all on one side, way in the back!

  6. BITING is a furry bad thing, Ruben! Try not to do it again

  7. It was very bad of you to bite your dad, but it wasn't too smart of him to grab you while you had a chewy right there. He knows that you're an evil gremlin if someone goes for your chewy!

  8. Reuben, u r incredibly funny!

  9. I wanna' know how you managed to draw blood, with so few teeth? I've never bitten anyone but I did body-slam my 75 year old step-grandmother once when I first came to live with mom and dad. Luckily she's pretty tough and she wasn't hurt, but mom and dad were VERY upset with me.

    your pal,

    1. Garth, I gots two very large and ferocious shark tooths, right on the bottom in the front. With these mighty tooths I can inflict puncture wounds, yet I no can destuff a chewy. It has many ironies!

  10. Uh oh. You better watch out with that stuff. One time PeeWee growled at momma and gave her the evil eye and she made him do his sit stay like forever and kept giving him his chewie and taking it away until he learned to mind his manners a little better. I think a bath would be less stressy.


    1. She... takes chewy away?! Oh no! Luckily for me, I holds onto mine with my amazingly powerful jaws, and when Mama tries to pull it out, she no can, for she has an afraid for accidentally pulling some tooths out with it too.

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