Important update on my groundings

Today I has learned that maybe my permanent grounding from the farm no is permanent. Maybe. Mama is very afraid to lose me - she says it is a very big world out there for a large and fearless wiener dog like myself. She worries how I gets tired in the woods and lays down for a nap among the trees. I is sure she also worries that I will scare the woodland creatures too much with my fearsome tooths! Those woods gots all kind of creatures, like deer, wild turkeys and even coyotes. Since I is a senior dog of undetermined age (my vet may or may not has said that I is "as old as Methuselah," which surely no is true), Mama always is worrying about me, making sure that I is nearby, preferably (for both of us) on her lap.

It is a very comfy lap.

But for the senior dog that I is, you should see me out there doing zoomies! I gets so excited to be out in the wilds that I does lots of runnings, which is fun and Mama says is good exercise for me. There is so many, many things to pee on, and chickens to chase, and neighbors' houses to go in, and Gretchen's food to eat.... it is a very fun place for a wiener dog! So Mama says that she maybe will let me go back in the future, as long as Daddy swears to Dog that he no lets me out of his sight. You may send petitions to free me, Reuben, from my groundings, to floppytonguejoy @ gmail.com. I gots to fight for my rights!