Sunday, April 15, 2012

Important news update on rude animals who think they lives in my house

Friends, we gots a lot of important things going on in the local news here. I does my best as a journalist to provide a unbiased interpretation of the events taking place in the backyard.

My top story this morning is "angry birds." I no knows why humans want a game for this, since I has my very own game of angry birds in the backyard and trust me, I wish I could uninstall this freeloader birdhouse. Here I has tooked a screenshot:

Yes friends and other newswatchers, these birds has set up nest in the wall right above my back door. They was here last year, and here they unfortunately is again. When it was just the mama bird, she no really was angry, just very very messy. Now that she has borned her chicks, all I hear all day long is screeching from those little hungry angry birds! They gots a lot of nerve to move into MY house without asking my permissions. They is crafty too, for they has chosen a place so high that neither Hatfield the orange kitty or I can get in there to eat them. The squawking is interrupting my vigilant sleeping, which is, of course, one of the most important things I does.

See how I is awake here? I should be asleep. Vigilantly asleep.

In other news, basement cat has been spotted in my basement, and in fact I spots (and smells) him on a daily basis. We gots all these fat kitties in the neighborhood who has very nice and warm homes. Instead of hanging out in them, they hangs out in my basement.

Daddy, you could end this torture by fixing the basement door.
In this picture you sees me monitoring their activity from the outside of the house, but every time I tries to sneak in there, I is stopped by the treacherous large pile of Daddy Junk. Also, Mama tends to pick me up and carry me back inside when I gets in an exploratory kind of mood. So these stinky cats is up to no good underneath my very foots, and all I can does is bark at them through various vents on the indoors and outdoors of my house.

It is a grave burden to has the correct-sized dachshund legs that I has. Some dogs with freakishly long legs might be able to jump up and eat those birds, or leap over the Daddy Junk. It is the price we dachshunds pay for being so adorable. Truly, my work no is ever done. This is me, Reuben, signing off for the mornings.


  1. we habe silly birds who libe in the trees out front and well make big mess eberywhere!!! I lub your blogspot it is pawsome!!!! Just like youse!
    Piggy Puppy

  2. Oh goodness! We have birdies that live in our fireplace... or they did last year. Hopefully they won't come back this year. They can't get in the house, but they are up in the fireplace and it gets very loud and annoying! We also have a cat that kept sleeping on our back porch, but Dad (finally) got smart and locks the screened doors now so they can't get in! That was most annoying!
    ~Milly and Shelby

  3. Bella waits for those little birds to leave the nest...or fall out. Then she's on them!

    The people across the street from us, feed all the feral cats and there are a few cats with homes that come every night for a free feed! We have to tell them LOUDLY to go back's OUR street.

    Can't imagine having them IN OUR house!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella &Roxy

  4. oh my goodness, you must be on high alert!! what a bunch of invaders! i'm sure you're being a great watch though :)

  5. Holy cow, invaders everywhere! That's just not right.

    Nubbin wiggles,

  6. This is very serious. Who knows what those basement kitties are up to. They could be running some sort of illicit cat nip house right under your dad's nose. He seems oblivious. If only he would listen to you.

    We have birds in our porch light every year. Usually robin birds that try and eat me if I go out the front door. At least this year the wee little finch birds got dibs on the location and they just fly away.

    I told momma "turn on the porch light and fryalate them!" But she is all "Oh, Mango, let the little birds have their babies in peace." Whatever.



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