Friday, March 9, 2012

Look out Pet Smart; here comes Reuben!

Yesterday Mama has taken me and Leah to Pet Smart. I was lured into the car with the promise of... well, the promise of a car ride. What other reason does a wiener dog need?

Go for a ride?!?! Sounds good to me!!!

When we gotted out of the car I was instantly overwhelmed by all of the different dog smells in the parking lot. Also I began to has a recognizing for this place. Why, you asks? Because I has been here before.... yes, it all comes back to me now.... the big whooshing doors..... the other dogs sniffing my butt.... the horrible torturous room where Mama left me with the bad people and they CUTTED MY NAILS. Now, you must has an understand: the shaking I has when I goes into that place NO IS from fear, for I is never scared. It is from cold. They must has the air conditioning on full blast or something, because that is certainly the only reason I would ever, ever shake (do not get any ideas - I no shakes with my paw, either).

Leah, why you has betrayed me and my nails?!
As you can see, I tries to pull away from the nail-stealing place, but sadly it was to no avail. Mama picked me up and carried me in, then did the horrible thing of LEAVING ME THERE ALONE.

Oh the injustice of it all...
I no cares to talk about what happened next. It involved a nail grinder and that is all you needs to know. Mama and Leah came back just as soon as they was done torturing me. As I was gently placed into the safe haven of Mama's arms, I began to relax a little, and with the offer of something delicious, I started feeling like my old self again.

Maybe I can find forgiveness in my very magnanimous heart.
We lefted that horrible place, and then things started getting more interesting.

Is that a hair dryer for dogs? Oh, the humanity!
Soon I began to smell probably thousands of delicious foodstuff smells. Next time I goes in there I must talk to the manager, for clearly the employees has forgotten to open the foodstuff bags for me.

Maybe the free samples is underneath?
Then, we has come to an aisle of great importance.

Is I hallucinating? What they putted in that dog treat?
I did a very thorough check of the floor, to see if the employees was doing their job correctly by putting toys for me under the shelves.

Finally, they has done something right!
Then Leah wanted to go see the fishes, and I approved of that decision. Although I prefers a nicely seared tuna steak, sushi is also acceptable.

5 pounds of catfish please, with the whiskers removed
Leah asked a nice clerk if they had any salmon, and she smiled and said that no, they no has any salmon.

I checked under, just to make sure
Next we went to this machine so Mama and Leah could make a tag for Gretchen with Grandpa's phone number and address on it, though probably all his neighbors has him on speed dial now, also due to Gretchen. We printed a tag for Gretchen. And I had to wait. Leah watched, and I watched the doors.

"Hello, Grandpa? Yes, we has your dog. Again."

Now the big whooshing doors was close again, and again the air conditioner must have kicked on full blast, for I started shaking again. Of course, I was very brave and walked through them all by myself this time.

Truly, I knows no fear!
We went out to the parking lot, where I made sure to let everyone know that the entire parking lot was mine.

Has I mentioned before that this is mine?
We gotted into the car, then Mama pulled out a surprise for me!

A NEW CHEWY!!!1!!1
I chewed it all the way home and broughted it into the house.

Someone please tell Daddy that the steps needs a paint job
I chewed that chewy all the way until dinnertime. Because I assure you, the only thing that can make me drop a new chewy is dinner. I no even letted Mama take my harness off. She might try to take away my chewy! And it is MINE!

In case you was confused, this is mine.
Oh, and this is me and Leah in the car. You can see here that she is missing some tooths, just like me! I think we makes a pretty good team, doesn't you?

As long as she no tries to take my chewy.


  1. OMDs were left in the deep freeze to have your nails sawed off. This calls for demerits and revenge. Felines are good a revenge so speak to your fe-sib for suggestions.
    That picture of you walking up the walk with your chewy reminds me of the tv commercial about the Doxie and his Bobo. Too cute.
    I'm 200.5% sure I've never encounter your handsomeness. Why...because my precious kitty paws have never set foot on the ground. MOL
    Can you say Diva?

    BTW your Leah is very cute.
    Hugs Madi

    1. Hmmm, very interesting... perhaps I can lower myself to Hatfield the orange kitty's level to pry out his revenge secrets.

  2. You're a great team! And OMD I had that same toy! I got it for my birthday, and a day later it was completely destuffed
    Dachshund Nola

  3. Hi! We just found you! Mina Krebbs shared your link on her blog. Nice to meet you! Looks like you had a busy day. We normally take LONG naps after things like that.
    ~Milly and Shelby

  4. My Henry would love the toy aisle! He gets very nasty when there are new toys around so we don't take him down that aisle. He thinks they are all his and he grabs & hoards as many as possible.


  5. Oh my goodness, thank DOG that we found you. We hopped on over and love your blog.

    What a busy day you had. We're glad that you finally made it home safe and sound. At least you gots a new chewy outta it!

    Lily Belle

  6. Because she makes us walk on roads and footpaths, we don't need our nails clipped. Sounds like a horrible ordeal. You deserved that new chewy...maybe even two.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  7. Good thing you is such a brave dog! Having your toenails stolen is a terrible experience.

    Have you ever considered a job as Quality Control at da Petsmart? You do an excellent job of monitoring under da displays. BOL!


  8. Hi Rueben
    We used to visit the Petsmart to have our nails taken too. Mom now takes them at home.
    Love your Chewy.
    Love Ruby & Penny

  9. Pees - we forgots to say how adorable your Leah is. Mom says she reminds her of our Sara who is all grown up now.
    Love Ruby & Penny

  10. Pawesome!!! A new chewy toy...I'm sooo jealous!!! Thanks for inviting me to the dog park and Pet Smart...just think about it, it would be a cuteness overload for anyone who saw us together :)

    "They gots lots of things to pee on!" BOL!!!!!

    Keep on wagging,


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