Look out Pet Smart; here comes Reuben!

Yesterday Mama has taken me and Leah to Pet Smart. I was lured into the car with the promise of... well, the promise of a car ride. What other reason does a wiener dog need?

Go for a ride?!?! Sounds good to me!!!

When we gotted out of the car I was instantly overwhelmed by all of the different dog smells in the parking lot. Also I began to has a recognizing for this place. Why, you asks? Because I has been here before.... yes, it all comes back to me now.... the big whooshing doors..... the other dogs sniffing my butt.... the horrible torturous room where Mama left me with the bad people and they CUTTED MY NAILS. Now, you must has an understand: the shaking I has when I goes into that place NO IS from fear, for I is never scared. It is from cold. They must has the air conditioning on full blast or something, because that is certainly the only reason I would ever, ever shake (do not get any ideas - I no shakes with my paw, either).

Leah, why you has betrayed me and my nails?!

As you can see, I tries to pull away from the nail-stealing place, but sadly it was to no avail. Mama picked me up and carried me in, then did the horrible thing of LEAVING ME THERE ALONE.

Oh the injustice of it all...

I no cares to talk about what happened next. It involved a nail grinder and that is all you needs to know. Mama and Leah came back just as soon as they was done torturing me. As I was gently placed into the safe haven of Mama's arms, I began to relax a little, and with the offer of something delicious, I started feeling like my old self again.

Maybe I can find forgiveness in my very magnanimous heart.

We lefted that horrible place, and then things started getting more interesting.

Is that a hair dryer for dogs? Oh, the humanity!

Soon I began to smell probably thousands of delicious foodstuff smells. Next time I goes in there I must talk to the manager, for clearly the employees has forgotten to open the foodstuff bags for me.

Maybe the free samples is underneath?

Then, we has come to an aisle of great importance.

Is I hallucinating? What they putted in that dog treat?

I did a very thorough check of the floor, to see if the employees was doing their job correctly by putting toys for me under the shelves.

Finally, they has done something right!

Then Leah wanted to go see the fishes, and I approved of that decision. Although I prefers a nicely seared tuna steak, sushi is also acceptable.

5 pounds of catfish please, with the whiskers removed

Leah asked a nice clerk if they had any salmon, and she smiled and said that no, they no has any salmon.

I checked under, just to make sure

Next we went to this machine so Mama and Leah could make a tag for Gretchen with Grandpa's phone number and address on it, though probably all his neighbors has him on speed dial now, also due to Gretchen. We printed a tag for Gretchen. And I had to wait. Leah watched, and I watched the doors.

"Hello, Grandpa? Yes, we has your dog. Again."

Now the big whooshing doors was close again, and again the air conditioner must have kicked on full blast, for I started shaking again. Of course, I was very brave and walked through them all by myself this time.

Truly, I knows no fear!

We went out to the parking lot, where I made sure to let everyone know that the entire parking lot was mine.

Has I mentioned before that this is mine?

We gotted into the car, then Mama pulled out a surprise for me!

A NEW CHEWY!!!1!!1

I chewed it all the way home and broughted it into the house.

Someone please tell Daddy that the steps needs a paint job

I chewed that chewy all the way until dinnertime. Because I assure you, the only thing that can make me drop a new chewy is dinner. I no even letted Mama take my harness off. She might try to take away my chewy! And it is MINE!

In case you was confused, this is mine.

Oh, and this is me and Leah in the car. You can see here that she is missing some tooths, just like me! I think we makes a pretty good team, doesn't you?

As long as she no tries to take my chewy.