Some big Newses for Humpy Day

This be a Instagram dog named Digby VanWinkle. I loves him. Almost as much as he loves that fluffy thing.

Greetings friends, I has been away for many years, or possibly even days. I has a sorry for this, but as you will see, there was a developing situation which I touched on in my last blog post that required me, a camera, and....


my new piggies.

OMD, it is a bacon-flavored dream come true!!!1!!1!

You heared right, I gots THREE PIGGIES all for my personal self! Remember when Mama wented away and left me home with Daddy for eleventy thousand days? She promised me a piggy and now Daddy has, in fact, delivered threefold on the promise! Ok, maybe the piggies live out at the farm, and maybe they no is "technically" mine, but they was going to become mine after I exhibited my braveries to them.

This never happened.

Why, you is asking? I will answer that question.

It is because my pigges escaped. ALL THREE OF THEMS. Like 5 minutes after Daddy gotted them out of the car. They went into the pigpen and then right out of a little hole in the fence. And they ranned away!

Additionally, Daddy tooked Mama's car to go pick up the piggies, because his car needs tires and no has legalities or something, and he had to drive Far Away. On the way home they farted, pooped and throwed up in Mama's back seat. Oh, and also they was riding in MY crate, so now it has been defiled by bovinus exodus.

All week Daddy has been going out the farm and doing pig huntings. He caughted one of them (the one that People Sister named Diamondneck), and to no one's surprise he escaped AGAIN. There is now approximately eleventy pounds of future bacons wandering around in the woods behind the farm.

They's tolded all the neighbors, and Animal Control, and they gotted pig trap from animal control too. My favorite pig retrieval idea so far is getting another piggy with a GPS collar, turning it loose in the woods, and hoping that it will lead us to the other piggies and no get picked up by a falcon or something. They is very little piggies.

Daddy finded pig tracks in the woods today, so they is still around. Can you believe that Gretchen and Daisy is good pig herders?! THEY IS! They helped with the Diamondneck recapture, so I is thinking that it must be pretty easy to herd pigs. I is all ready to go out to the woods and hunt down some piggies. Right after my nap.

I will keep you informed of these situations as they develop! In other newses, you may be remembering a dignified senior dog named Mr. Snoots that Mama and People sister meeted at the adoption fair. Well, People Sister was falling kind of in love with hims. And Mama was thinking that maybe we would be adopting his personal self. Mr. Snoots is 17 years old. When Mama explained to People Sister that we maybe would has to let him to go Rainbow Bridge soon on account of his extreme seniorness, she began to cry and cry. And also the next day. And the day after that. Sometimes she still cries about losing our kitty Kanga, who wented to Rainbow Bridge 2 years ago. She says she no wants to adopt Mr. Snoots because she no can handle the idea of maybe losing him soon. Mama and people sister is planning to do a visiting of him soon in his foster home, which is likely the place he will stay since his foster mom loves him a big, whole lot and already was thinking of keeping him.

This is Reuben, wishing you a very Happy Humpy Day.