Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Some big Newses for Humpy Day

This be a Instagram dog named Digby VanWinkle. I loves him. Almost as much as he loves that fluffy thing.

Greetings friends, I has been away for many years, or possibly even days. I has a sorry for this, but as you will see, there was a developing situation which I touched on in my last blog post that required me, a camera, and....

my new piggies.

OMD, it is a bacon-flavored dream come true!!!1!!1!

You heared right, I gots THREE PIGGIES all for my personal self! Remember when Mama wented away and left me home with Daddy for eleventy thousand days? She promised me a piggy and now Daddy has, in fact, delivered threefold on the promise! Ok, maybe the piggies live out at the farm, and maybe they no is "technically" mine, but they was going to become mine after I exhibited my braveries to them.

This never happened.

Why, you is asking? I will answer that question.

It is because my pigges escaped. ALL THREE OF THEMS. Like 5 minutes after Daddy gotted them out of the car. They went into the pigpen and then right out of a little hole in the fence. And they ranned away!

Additionally, Daddy tooked Mama's car to go pick up the piggies, because his car needs tires and no has legalities or something, and he had to drive Far Away. On the way home they farted, pooped and throwed up in Mama's back seat. Oh, and also they was riding in MY crate, so now it has been defiled by bovinus exodus.

All week Daddy has been going out the farm and doing pig huntings. He caughted one of them (the one that People Sister named Diamondneck), and to no one's surprise he escaped AGAIN. There is now approximately eleventy pounds of future bacons wandering around in the woods behind the farm.

They's tolded all the neighbors, and Animal Control, and they gotted pig trap from animal control too. My favorite pig retrieval idea so far is getting another piggy with a GPS collar, turning it loose in the woods, and hoping that it will lead us to the other piggies and no get picked up by a falcon or something. They is very little piggies.

Daddy finded pig tracks in the woods today, so they is still around. Can you believe that Gretchen and Daisy is good pig herders?! THEY IS! They helped with the Diamondneck recapture, so I is thinking that it must be pretty easy to herd pigs. I is all ready to go out to the woods and hunt down some piggies. Right after my nap.

I will keep you informed of these situations as they develop! In other newses, you may be remembering a dignified senior dog named Mr. Snoots that Mama and People sister meeted at the adoption fair. Well, People Sister was falling kind of in love with hims. And Mama was thinking that maybe we would be adopting his personal self. Mr. Snoots is 17 years old. When Mama explained to People Sister that we maybe would has to let him to go Rainbow Bridge soon on account of his extreme seniorness, she began to cry and cry. And also the next day. And the day after that. Sometimes she still cries about losing our kitty Kanga, who wented to Rainbow Bridge 2 years ago. She says she no wants to adopt Mr. Snoots because she no can handle the idea of maybe losing him soon. Mama and people sister is planning to do a visiting of him soon in his foster home, which is likely the place he will stay since his foster mom loves him a big, whole lot and already was thinking of keeping him.

This is Reuben, wishing you a very Happy Humpy Day.


  1. Happy Hump Day, Reuben!

    I sure hope they find your piggies. When I think of all that bacon running loose in the woods, it makes me very sad.


  2. Oh my goodness Reuben, I think that you would be the greatest piggie capturer of them all!!! :-D (Way better than Gretchen!) Make sure you go out there and get them, after your nap of course! Those piggies sound incredibly exciting!! I can't wait to hear more!!

  3. Reuben I have missed your handsome face! I am sorry your little piggies got away and I just know you will catch them. Just pretend you are a truffle and go hide under some leaves for a while. Good luck and let me know how it works.

    Loveys Sasha

  4. You dodged that bullet...we though for sure you were going to have a sibling.

    Hope you find the piggies before the Big Bad Wolf does!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  5. Oh my goodness! We don't know what to do with all this news! A narrowly missed canine sibling, a tearful little person and piggies?!? Whew! You're gonna need that nappy Reuben!

    Edgar and his mum

  6. OMD runaway piggies. Reuben we know as you are so brave you can deal with the situation. Go forth and save the bacons pal. Have a tremendous Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  7. We hope you find them only if you promise not to have bacon sarnies out of them, BOL!
    Dip Bridge and Elliot x

  8. Oh my those poor pigs we wish mr snoots well
    Urban hounds

  9.'s just full of neweys today. I hopes you find all your piggies soon. Can't have 'em fartin' up the woods too. Of course, dat might make 'em easier to find.

    Mr. Snoots is happy in his foster home and it sounds like he's much loved too. Glad you get to visit with him.


  10. Where the heck are those piggies
    Benny & Lily

  11. OMD Reuben ... tell your dad to go in the woods and LISTEN fur the sounds of BUILDING... and fur trails of Straw, Wood, and BRICKS... Tell him to follow the BRICK ROAD.. and just WAIT... all three Piggies will be THERE Soon.

  12. Hi Reuben, we are sure your people are upset about the pigs but we are finding it a little funny! Hope they are found soon. Happy hunting!

  13. Hey there Rueben!! Maybe the little piggies will cry WEE wEE WEEE all the way home! Sounds like Mr. Snoots is where he needs to be, good that people sister can visit him.
    Bailey, Hazel & Greta

  14. We thinks Mr. Snoots loves where he lives and the peoples all love him also. Since we live in Iowa home of the pigs we tend to not get as excited about the possibility of endless bacon cos our Mom NEVER EVER EVER lets us have it and our Dad sneaks it to us all the time....all we gotta do is get in the car and drive a few miles and we see those little bacon treats for miles and miles as far as the eye can see....i suppose if you can't find them in the woods, you just need to come to Iowa for a weekend.
    stella rose

  15. This whole situation of possible future bacon running loose in the woods is rather upsetting. I do hope your piggies are found soon. Meanwhile, hang in there. And don't go through any fence holes, whatever you do!

    Love and licks,

  16. HOLY COW PATTIES!!! Reuben you sure live a fun filled life dude!! Piggies????!
    I want some piggies!! I'll be right overs and help with the hunt. Now technically, I'm a vermin huntress, butts I thinks I can be a Ham Huntress too!! What's the diff anyhu?? Plus, they gots to make like snortin' noises, right?! No problemo!!
    Well, I'm glads that Mr. Snoots is still doin' goods, and thats your visitin' him, and sorry your gurl is sad abouts the loss of her furiends.
    Ruby ♥

  17. We finally made it here! Hi Reuben. Blogger has been such a pain in the neck for us the past few days. Since we couldn't make it here for humpy day we read another chapter in your wonderful book. We are really enjoying it.

    Oh my pig! How could those little potential bacon's escape the pen? We sure hope that they will be caught and are unharmed. I bet you're gonna be the best hunter out there.

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  18. I can't wait for more pig stories - it sounds ace!

  19. OMD Reuben, that's a lot going on at your house right now! How ever can you nap with all that crying and pig chasing?


  20. Run away piggies and be free!!!!


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