Saturday, June 9, 2012

Hungry Birds? Not on my watch!

If you happens to follow me, Reuben, on Face Books, you may already know of the brave and fearsome act I has performed the other day. What it was, you asks?

monster chicken
Actually, it no was this at all.
Howevers, the monster chickens from the farm has sent a new terror into my house and I was forced to kill it. One so shockingly terrifying that you may need to put the puppies to bed before viewings. Beyond terrifying actually. It is THIS:

cute little bird
Don't try to pretend like you no is scared.

Friends, you may remember the Angry Birds problem I has above my back door. In case you has forgotten, it looks like this on the outside:

birds nest in wall
And this is the look of it on the inside:

hungry baby birds
Actual birds may differ
They has been squawking up a storm all through the day, and since they is in my wall, I hears every single squawk during my vigilant nappings. But I no can figure out how one of thems got into my closet, which is not even a little bit near their nest of horror.

I was hanging out, sniffing around for some foodstuff crumbs on the floor, when I smelled something very very wrong. It smelled like feathers. And bird poop. So I tracked it into the closet, and after probably hours and hours of barkings, or maybe even minutes, I caught the Hungry Bird, killed it, and brought it proudly into the Crate for chewings.

***********photo removed due to unpleasants***********

Mama said "oh Reuben, what you has caughted, you brave and smart dachshund? It is a mouse?" And I proudly showed her that it no was, and then she started with the screamings, and she sounded annoying like the Hungry Birds, and then she pushed the Crate with me in it all the way outside and rudely dumped me and my prey out on the ground. 

octopus chew toy
Why she no cares when I kills this squeaky octopus too?

Friends, what kind of way this is to treat a hero like me, Reuben? Fearless protectors such as myself no gets the respect we really deserve. And by respect, I mean treats. But later Mama gived me a treat, and now that is all I can remember.... Birds?.... What? What you is talking about? I is thinking of bacons and biscuits, actually, now I goes into the kitchen to see if there is any for me. Oh man I love treats! 


  1. Bella applauds you! She kills baby birds, too. hey, if it's on the ground, it's yours.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    SHE gets all squeamish.

  2. Brilliant pics , loved the giant rooster! Have a happy Sunday!
    Best wishes Molly

  3. Oh great and mighty hunter... What an awesome job you did protecting your hoomans from the evils of the birds. I prefer chippies myself and don't give up until they are caught and disposed of properly (yum!)

    Lily Belle

  4. Shocking! Those angry birds could have attacked your momma in her sleep and then where would she be? I think your error was in not consuming the corpse post haste. Next time, just swallow that angry bird, beak and all.


  5. Oh that sounded super scary. I had to laugh out loud at the story of the birdie but I was a bit terrified when I read about you gobbling it up!

    Oh Reuben, this is just so hilarious. You're better than a cup of coffee in the morning.

    Huggies and Cheese,


  6. Darn those angry birds! A dogs gotta do what a dogs gotta do.

  7. Hi Reuben,
    Check out my blog this morning, because we gave you an award! Hope you like it.

    Lily Belle


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